Thank you to all my lovely readers for your support this morning. As I said last night, I think he’s learnt some sort of life lesson, but I’m not sure what it is. It’s very interesting to look at all the different opinions on how to deal with that sort of situation that I have heard this morning.
1. Mother of one of the boys who got out of the way:
She felt that her son did the right thing. That my son shouldn’t have to feel he was defending the girls because “they are all young people and I’m not sure I agree with the view that boys should have to protect girls or walk them home”. She felt that in the current climate you do not stand around waiting to be hit by a drunk or anyone else for that matter. You run away. He could have had a knife. She did feel bad that he had been left, but felt that he had made the wrong decision to assume he was going to be OK. She and I are good friends. I don’t completely agree with her view, but she has a valid point. She thinks that between the age of 14 and 17 if they’ve got nowhere to go after a certain time, then problems are inevitable and a gang mentality can be generated. She feels that our boys should not be hanging out in the street after football practice and that it is up to us as parents to organise a rota to open up our homes on a Friday night (god what a horrible thought).
2. Mother of one of the boys who had to go home early to babysit.
“Omigod!! That’s awful. Did you call the police? Is there CCTV footage? What are we going to do? We can’t let them go out again. We’re going to have to get a group of vigilante dads out there to protect them, or maybe we could accompany them”. I suddenly had a vision of a group of mothers, dressed in neon, with lollypop sticks and wearing signs saying “zero tolerance”.
3. Friend this morning.
“Omigod!! Lets start our own gang.
4. My dad.
“It’s a scary world out there now. They’ve all got knives. He’s lucky to be alive. Move to Australia immediately.
5. Football coach.
“I saw them last night and even managed to catch one of them. Just as I was about to lump him, the police came round the corner and so I had to let him go. The police couldn’t catch them unfortunately. I’m going to speak to the boys tomorrow about how they all need to stay together in future”.
6. His father.
“This is not a criticism, but next time can you call me about something like that”. “I did”, I said “we called you on your mobile to see if you could help before I went off to the hospital”. “I know”, he said, “but my phone was in my pocket and I didn’t hear it – you should have called me on the home phone”. “You got the message though, I spoke to you from the hospital”. “I know, but you should have told me sooner”. Got it wrong again.
7. Another mother of one of the boys who got out of the way.
I had to go and help out at the cake stall of a school Christmas fair this morning. One of the boys mothers rushed up to me and said “phew, thank goodness I’ve found you, did you get the right Christmas tree, because there has been some confusion and I’ve had to ask the man to come back because some people aren’t happy with the size of their tree when they have spent the same amount as others…bla, bla….she did not mention it. Did she not know? Or did the Christmas tree disaster overshadow the event?
So you see? Lots of different views. I can only hope that my son is better equipped to judge a difficult situation in the future. That he does not put himself into a dangerous situation unnecessarily and that he understands that there are people out there who can hurt you for no apparent reason, who are simply looking for a fight.
His face is a mess this morning. Poor thing, a broken nose and now this. He’s beginning to look like the lead singer of The Pogues rather than my gorgeous little boy.
SusannahS
December 8, 2007Your son sounds like a hero to me. It would have been very easy for him to run, and leave the girls at the mercy of a drunken bully. Instead it sounds like he stood his ground and made certain they were safe. That says a lot about him (and you!).
debio
December 9, 2007Comment from ex-husband doesn’t surprise – he has his own guilt trip to worry about…
Comment from first friend I find quite worrying – is it everyone for themselves out there now?
Christmas tree mother no surprise – some people just so wrapped up in trivia that real rpoblems are not considered.
Whether your son was ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ is debatable; but you should be so proud. What a star. Do hope his poor face recovers quickly.
zoe
December 9, 2007“She feels that our boys should not be hanging out in the street after football practice and that it is up to us as parents to organise a rota to open up our homes on a Friday night (god what a horrible thought).”
If there is a local gang hanging around, then this doesn’t seem to be such a bad idea after all. However ghastly the thought it’s not a bad idea to weigh the odds:
sweaty teenagers locked in your kitchen till their parents collect them vs split lips, broken noses – and possible stabbings. I’d opt for the former myself.
I hope your son gets better soon – they heal quickly at that age:)
family affairs
December 9, 2007You are completely right – although the thought of millions of smelly teenagers being sick on my sofa isn’t very appealing, it’s much better to have them hanging around than not knowing where they are…
My big TV screen is going to come in very useful after all I suspect. x
gatco knife sharpeners
May 12, 2010I really enjoyed reading about A LESSON IN LIFE? | Family Affairs and think it was well worth the read. The only other site I found on AOL wasnt as good as this one, thanks.