I have had a very bad few days. A series of unfortunate events have simply been a reminder that the situation we’re in is destined never to allow me a much needed sense of peace and calm ever again. So I’ve gone into a corner to spend some time wondering What. To. Do. Next.

I can’t even f’g write about it at the moment because there are so many threats and allegations and the most extraordinarily childish behaviour that I have ever experienced from a bunch of so called adults before in my life that I need to speak to lawyers and friends and the sky and white feathers first.

I knew a storm was brewing on Sunday when I couldn’t bloody get rid of the white feather stuck to my shoe. The white feathers make me think about my father and every time they appear they seem to deliver a message. This one said “brace yourself, I’m hanging on to try and help you get through this but it’s not going to be easy”……and he was right.

Deep. In a quagmire of unpleasantness. WHEN IS IT GOING TO END??

In addition to stuff I”m apparently banned from talking about (just for a minute until I get some advice) I received my first rejection for my book. Given that a man from a VERY large publishing house invited me to send my manuscript to him I feel not only disappointed, but frustrated. Having assumed it was normal to receive a one line rejection and that I just needed to grow a thicker skin (or cover myself in white feathers) I told a friend of mine yesterday, who has an agent and a fabulous book about to be launched on to the market that all his email said was “We’re going to pass, I’m afraid”. She told me that she didn’t think an email response like that was appropriate. She said that the publishers who rejected her all bothered to phone or write, explaining their reasons, so she told me to phone him and ask him for some constructive feedback. “NO WAY” I said. “Way too embarrassing and depressing”. But she insisted, told me I had to put myself out there and find out what they thought. So I braced myself and called him. “Sorry to bother you, I received your email earlier today, but I was just wondering if you could give me a few minutes of your time to go through your thoughts on my book” (feeling like the worst sort of telephone sales person). “Um. No. I didn’t read it. I gave it to a colleague who sent me a one line email about it” he told me. “Oh. OK, do you think I could speak to your colleague about it then?” I pushed. “No. We are all far too busy for that. Sorry. Goodbye”.

Harsh? Or is that the treatment everybody gets these days?

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13 Comments
  • Muddling Along
    June 8, 2011

    Sounds like they are either horribly unprofessional or horribly rude – hopefully they are unique in their behaviour

    Sending hugs and virtual gin (and the hope that this doesn’t happen again)

  • Stigmum
    June 9, 2011

    Oh blimey. I don’t know if it’s like that, but it wouldn’t surprise me. Have a quick read of this I just found http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/10/04/will-j-k-rowling-write-another-harry-potter-book/ and hang onto your feathers!!

  • janelle
    June 9, 2011

    oh shit lulu…pole SANA! re: the publisher…just remember all the rejections that the lady who wrote Harry Potter got..(oops can’t remember her name) and look what happened. DON’T GIVE UP! and as for the rest….batton the hatches, believe in yourself, and stay with what you believe in….this too shall pass. hang in there darlin’ xxx

  • Eclipse
    June 9, 2011

    I wondered where you had gone. All I can do is wish you all the best, hold on tight, stick up for yourself and remember that you haven’t done anything wrong (and if you need cheering up, get your youngest to make you some fondants, they’re so yummy you’ll forget, even for a brief moment, about all the crap) xx

  • kelloggsville
    June 9, 2011

    hmmmm..it’s all a bit crap really isn’t it. It won’t stay like it forever. Hang onto the white feathers, don’t shake them off. I don’t know why but I feel that is important.

  • fd
    June 9, 2011

    Sorry for the mess at the moment.

    1) this is going to sound corny and possible creepy, and like the last thing relevant to your situation, but as I watched the clips available on Oprah’s site of her last episode, I thought of you adn your quandary with your blog. Specifically when she talked about ‘owning your voice and knowing that you have your own platform in spite of other people and it must be where you express your truths’ etc etc.
    2) regarding the publishing industry, my understanding is that what you received is fairly normal, especially if you don’t have an agent.

    • Family Affairs
      June 9, 2011

      Thanks FD – owning my own voice – I like that and yes, I need to find an agent. Would be less stressful no doubt!! Lx

  • Karin
    June 9, 2011

    Too bad that people devote energy to infringing on others’ freedom of expression rather than living their own lives in such a way that a blog that names no names would not be a threat. I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through.

  • Mud
    June 10, 2011

    That’s just plain rude! Karma will out….. Hang on in there.
    xx

  • julie C
    June 10, 2011

    So sorry to hear that Lucy – so promising! and so dam rude there must be more publishers out there???

  • Jon Storey
    June 13, 2011

    Re: the former, I hope this nonsense gets sorted soon.

    Re: the latter, keep banging away at them!! :))