I must have had a good summer because I was quite sad today to be taking all my children back to school – I’m usually delighted. It was different this time though, because:-
a) my daughter started a new Secondary School today and I really felt for her. She was very nervous and whilst she looked lovely in her new shiny bright uniform, she also seemed somehow to manage to look very small and vulnerable again, even though she’s now nearly my height and her new shiny shoes are a size 8!!!. Yesterday she had a “team building day” which she was equally nervous about. “Who will I sit next to on the coach?” she asked, and I remembered that awful feeling of insecurity and fear and trepidation that goes with feeling out of your depth and in an unfamiliar position. I dropped her outside the school gates this morning and as she turned and waved I wanted to cry, she had a look that reminded me of the day she started primary school, a sort of “help, don’t leave me” look. I know she’ll be fine, but starting a new school and getting used to being small and insignificant again is such a big new step for them to have to take on their own.
b) I spent very little time with my 14 year old son this summer. He went away with friends, went to a football camp, went away with his father and then couldn’t come back to Cornwall with us because he had rugby training. Basically not quite enough time spent with him to be desperate for him to get back to school again.
c) my 7 year old was a bit upset this morning about having to part with me. He’s got a new uniform too, but that is because nothing fits him anymore. I had to buy Age 12 elasticated shorts, which come down to his calves. He is aware of his size and very conscious that he wants to lose some weight before the football season starts (he’s been picked for the team). Yesterday he said, “why don’t we go out for a healthy lunch – if we go to Costa Coffee we can buy a tuna fish sandwich and then we can go to MacDonalds and ask them to heat it up”.
This morning was a complete nightmare – my daughter was all hysterical about kit and timings and holiday work and friends and horrid porridge and generally everything, not helped at all by my 14 year old baiting her about whether there would be any buff boys, whilst my 7 year old made a mess of the kitchen having created some horrid porridge. The kitchen is too small to accommodate four stressed people before school. I’m going to have to somehow stagger my children so they don’t have to cross paths in the morning. It doesn’t work.
