It would have been my father’s birthday today if he hadn’t have gone and died unreasonably young, just nine months ago. This date – his day – the one we always celebrated with great enthusiasm because he loved birthdays and parties and expected a fuss to be made, we anticipated would be a difficult day for us all. Therefore we are getting together this evening to take my mother out for dinner. She thought it was a ridiculous idea, didn’t want us to make the effort, but I think it’s important. For all of us. I miss him so terribly – almost more now than before, but there’s nothing anyone can do about that. In the meantime, I know, for sure that he’d want us to celebrate anyway and raise a toast to the man we all knew and loved so deeply.
My mother is not coping massively well on her own. She’s bored and lonely understandably, so we are hatching a plan to move her closer to us. I’ve got estate agent details to take her and we will try and instill a sense of enthusiasm and hope in her for a different future. She mostly says now “I was just lucky to have been with my soulmate for 47 years, just lucky to have laughed every day of my life with him” and she’s right. But now, we have to try and edge her slowly towards a different future – out of one life and into another.
Appropriately, in my “Buddhist Offerings 365 days” today’s entry for the 21st August is this:-
“Daring to live means daring to die at any moment but also means daring to be born, crossing great stages of life in which the person we have been dies, and is replaced by another with a renewed vision of the world, and at the same time realising that there will be many obstacles to overcome before we reach the final stage of Enlightenment”
Expat Mum
August 21, 2011Nine months is an awfully short amount of time to even attempt a “new” life, especially after 47 years. If she’s not receptive to your plan, I wouldn’t press too hard at this point.
Family Affairs
August 22, 2011I know. It’s all so early really, but just hoping to spark the beginnings of some enthusiasm for something new. Very difficult. Lx
Kelloggsville
August 21, 2011My Dad shaped hole never seems to heal. sending love. x
Anna
August 22, 2011Have a good one! We think about him and the one we had to say farewell to on this side often.
Life is just not the same without those two gents.
Kevin
August 22, 2011Just lost my dad as well recently. (well, 13 months ago but I still cannot believe it at times) Perfectly healthy and only in his 50s and then he got a stroke. Birthdays and Christmas are the hardest I find. Keep strong.
Family Affairs
August 22, 2011Aaah. Thats really sad. So sorry to hear that and I appreciate you leaving a comment. Lx
QldDeb
September 5, 2011It’s been 12 years since I lost mum.
You never stop missing them, but changes happen that make it easier over time. Not much comfort, I know, but I’m sending blessings to you & your family, you’re doing your best and that’s all anyone can do.
I’ve been offline, but I’m hooked back up now so I promise to comment more often!