My “I’m so pleased to be home and I’m never going to shout at the children again” attitude to life has lasted a pathetically short time.
I went away because I felt I needed to do some thinking – away from everybody else after a very busy Christmas and New Year (a luxury to be able to escape, I know and one that can quite often, bizarrely only be afforded by divorced couples who from time to time can get their partners to look after the children). I spent a week in a chalet with an old college friend and two people I’d never met before and days on the snow trying to get the point of skiing and talking to mountains (and farting a lot – jet propelled ski trousers really do work, but only if you’re happy to ski alone). I wanted answers. This is my top 10 list of things what I learnt:-
1. Mountains don’t talk.
2. Skiing is 70% confidence and 30% balance.
3. I don’t know what I want to do next. But I’m clearly not doing it or I wouldn’t be questioning what I’m doing.
4. If you want to go somewhere and hang out with lots of men – skiing in January works very well (probably skiing at any time that doesn’t involve half terms or Easter would work). I think I might compile a list of top 10 places to go each month around the world to find men. March – definately the rugby 7’s in Hong Kong. Or does that make me seem just a little bit desperate?
5. The people that write sex stories for Men’s magazines actually exist and are quite normal.
6. That I might stop going on random holidays with strangers – it was good fun, but I’d prefer to be with old friends and/or family.
7. That investing in my own ski boots was the best use of money ever. You can’t put a price on pain.
8. Bode Miller is cool – he was in the same bar as us one night, having just won the men’s super-combined (a one day event adding the time of downhill in the morning to a slalom in the afternoon). I would have tried to pull him if it wasn’t for the fact that he was about the same age as my son.
9. If I drink vodka I don’t get a hangover.
10. I’m really pleased I have kids. The other three in the chalet don’t have any kids. Bizarrely I like the perspective I have on life as a result and the fact that they take the piss out of me relentlessly and I like the fact that I had them to come home to (even if you wouldn’t really know it 24 hours later).