I’m hoping that Espresso Martinis and Rainbows are going to get me through December this year. Time already feels like it’s concertina-ing into a squishy ball of panic that will inevitably explode around the 23rd December when I realise that I haven’t bought enough presents, let alone wrapped anything or bought all the food and drink required for the 10 of us that are spending Christmas Day together. I’m working this week and then next week a crowd of us are attending a friend’s wedding for two days – which I’m really excited about. THEN on the day we get back it’s my son’s birthday party which naturally has to be celebrated. Tomorrow night is my work Christmas party and this coming weekend is packed full of Christmas parties.
I’m not complaining – how lovely to be included in so many joyous things…I just haven’t really learnt a major life lesson yet and that is how to pace myself. I always embark on each and every party as if it’s the last one I’ll ever go to. Which if I carry on the way I approach them, might well end up being the case.
I’m excited and a little sad about Christmas Day this year. It will only be the second Christmas without my mother and this year I have all the family coming for lunch and staying the night and usually she’s always sitting at the head of the table demanding more wine. Last year, my brother and I went off piste and joined some great friends for their celebrations. My kids were with their dad, so it felt suitably different to not feel too morose. This year, there will be a very sizeable hole in the proceedings, but at least I will be with my two brothers and all her grandchildren, so we can toast, toast and toast away the night.
With my father, the sign is always feathers, but with my mother, it’s rainbows, Robin’s and butterflies and this rainbow was faint in the park yesterday:-
You’d think on writing this blog post that I’d realise how much better it would be if I could get all my sh*t together NOW, before the storm. But I don’t seem to be able to function very well until it’s all systems go. Every single Christmas I’ve done as a single parent has been chaotic. Maybe that’s just something I need to accept and not worry about in advance. I must actually quite like chaos and mess, otherwise I wouldn’t surely let it happen every year. Of course when the children were much younger I had more of an excuse to be disorganised. Their needs required attending to first and it was virtually impossible to get all three of them out to the shops (and I’m not sure we did that much online shopping back in the day). WE HAVEN’T EVEN GOT OUR TREE YET!
SO, I’m going to drink Espresso Martini’s for breakfast and float around in a dressing gown and then get dressed and stomp around the park looking for rainbows and in the meantime, I shall start writing lists. NONE of my children ever tell me what they want. Last year I had to take virtually everything back. If they don’t send me links soon, I’m going to tell them it’s too late and give them money to go and buy something for themselves, but it’s not quite the same is it.
ANYWAY, as I find there’s nothing better than relying on my blog writing as procrastination, here’s a quick update, for my future reference as to what my family is all up to!
CHILD NUMBER ONE
He’s just back from a highly successful trip to South Africa with his gorgeous girlfriend. They loved every minute of it. Spent 4 days in an amazing safari lodge and pretty much saw everything. Very jealous.
CHILD NUMBER TWO
She’s recovered from her Covid-like symptoms and is working hard in the world of Psychosis. It’s a traumatic world, but someone has got to do it and she’s risen to the challenges.
CHILD NUMBER THREE
Enjoying his job and seemingly life in general. He’s the only one still living at home and it’s great. I’m yet to set out a few rules as to how to live with your adult children (and/or how to live with your ageing mother).
CAT
STILL in a collar. We’ve decided he’s self harming and keeps licking himself to within an inch of his life here and there which is not a good look and I’m not sure why he’s doing it.
ME
Loving life. Enjoying the space and freedom I have again and being able to make decisions for myself. I’ve worked out a lot of late and feel very grateful for all that I have in life. Long may it last!
My gorgeous kids:-
My gorgeous brothers:-
Some of my gorgeous friends:-
My job, that means I can still commute into Central London and admire the beautiful buildings and the pigeons having a “bird bath”:-
AND my house plants – especially these coffee beans! Simple pleasures:-
