I am having a “what’s it all about?” moment. Thankfully, those moments have become fewer and farther between, but nevertheless, that dull ache can come back when you least expect it and the reality of my shattered family life lurches to the forefront of my thoughts…and it makes me feel very sad. As I write, a helium balloon floats behind me, my 8 year olds early Mother’s Day present to me:-
My children are with their father this weekend. I had thought about asking to swap the weekends or if they could come back tonight so that I could wallow in my full maternal glory all day tomorrow. Badly burnt toasted offerings and weak tea could have bounced me awake, with colourful homemade cards and lovely smiley faces. But instead, I thought I would be extremely grown-up and not request them back because their father sees them so rarely and it felt a little unfair.
I am sans enfant for Mother’s Day. My own mother is away on holiday so I can’t even make a fuss of her instead. It’s not the end of the world. Lots of people must find Mother’s Day unbearable. There must be many, many people who suffer a huge sense of loss on Mother’s Day, either for their own mother or god forbid if they have lost their own children or for those who long to be a mother but can’t be for whatever reason.
For me I am going to have to reshape the pieces of my life and simply look at it from a different angle. I find that helps. Like the advice my father gave me when I cried about no longer having a husband – “you just have to look at it another way….YOU HAVEN’T GOT A HUSBAND!!”. Which made me laugh. For those busy frantic 24/7 mothers, sometimes the prospect of not having your children for the day can appear blissful. So I will make the most of it and try to think “I HAVEN’T GOT MY CHILDREN!!”.
It doesn’t help that I am feeling a little hungover. I went out with some girlfriends last night and we had a lovely evening. One of my friends is a member of a club so we met her there and had some drinks and then went downstairs to the bar where they were having a club night called “Funk The Crunch” which I decided really meant “F*ck The Credit Crunch” which is as good a reason as any to have a dance. It is good being a member of a private club because it means you can dance with other old gits your own age and not feel quite so bad about not being able to dance with your hands above your head.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you lovely Mothers’ out there. Enjoy your day with or without your children or with or without your Mother and remember:-
“When you are a mother you are never truly alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child”.
Sophia Loren
Anonymous
March 21, 2009mothers = more than one mother
mother’s = belonging to mother
mothers’ = belonging to mothers
You’ll get zillions more followers when you get your apostrophes right. Course you will.
Fat, frumpy and fifty...
March 21, 2009oh bugger it…mothers day makes us all so expectant!!
Poor you, but Dougray Scott huh?? phoawr!!!
My son is at a friends over night and wont be back until afternoon, no mention at all of mothers day..my daughter mentioned it last week, cos she has no wages left and didnt want me to be disappointed with nought.. Perhaps LArry has stepped in to save the day…they do that don’t they sometimes??
Dougray Scott, you do get about don’t you lucky girl..
ciara
March 21, 2009i would be a follower, but i can’t see the follow button lol i do have u in my blog reader. trust me, i don’t get many followers either. my content is crap and i know it. your content is way better than mine esp if i’m putting things up like twilight spoof videos lol
anyways, it’s weird…i don’t feel totally weird or anything if my kids aren’t home w me on mother’s day (which that hasn’t happened, i don’t think).
i’m sort of indifferent to mother’s day…which is in may for us. i think you did well as a mother to let your ex have them.
in regards to the follower thing i have a link for you-blogging w/o obligation:
http://www.tartx.com/blog/?page_id=233
happy mother’s day to you 🙂
Diane Foden
March 21, 2009You’re a saint. I would have clung on to them kicking and screaming and demanding bouquets of wilting daffs.
I’ve got follower-envy, too. All this time, dozens of hits each day AND ONLY NINE. And some of them are related to me and I had to threaten them.
Chin up. It helps you batter through the sad times.
Claire
March 22, 2009Hi there,
Sassy site! Just want to invite you to join a new social networking
community…it's global…mainly women from Australia & USA right now but wanting more from UK, Europe & Asia…join us at
http://www.sassy-mamas.com/ Get sassy today!
family affairs
March 22, 2009THANK YOU anon….I have such a problem with apostrophes – can’t quite get them right. Can’t quite see the point Lx
I know FFF – he was GORGEOUS x
Thanks Ciara. You’re right. I just need to chill about it all and I’ve looked at that link and that is right too….just blog when you feel like it and don’t worry about anything else Lx
I know Diane…isn’t it frustrating? Oh well. Life is not all about followers….and yes, in hindsight, perhaps I should have insisted they spend the day with me. Oh well Lx
DogLover
March 22, 2009I came here after reading your piteous comment on Reluctant Memsahib http://reluctantmemsahib.wordpress.com/
and may well become a Follower!
family affairs
March 22, 2009OH GREAT!! Thanks Doglover, I didn’t realise quite how piteous I was sounding….sorry but thanks for dropping in L x
Wife in Hong Kong
March 23, 2009My family appear to have had Mother’s Day wiped from their mass memories. I’m begining to long for the chance to say “I HAVE NO CHILDREN!” but I guess the grass is always greener. Which school were you at in HK? Oh, and I’ll happily be a follower. You’re on my blog roll and I read regularly, I just haven’t worked out how to become an official “follower”. Do I have to wear sandals?
family affairs
March 23, 2009Thank you WIHK – I think you just have to click on my follower link although don’t really have a clue – I was at Peak School and then Island School Lx