I have just taught my Tuesday morning class with a heavy heart. Because there was somebody missing today who couldn’t come. A friend who has cancer. She texted me this morning with news of her latest scan results: “All bad news. Been in bad pain since Sunday. Yesterday was told liver not in good shape. They are moving fast with pain relief and start new chemo on Thurs. Won’t be in class as parents coming over to try and help me / me try to help them and still in some pain. All cried and talked out now but will speak to you soon my friend. The girl ain’t beaten yet x”.
And it made me cry. Because life is so unfair. She is so young. So beautiful. She’s got one of those shiny souls that just ooze through every pore and she’s done so well. In the time that I’ve known her we’ve worked together through one round of chemo strengthening and stretching her body, she’s done a photography course, she’s travelled the world with her lovely husband and she’s now started the training to be an instructor teaching the same form of exercise as me. On Saturday, when we did a workshop together I encouraged her to take the whole class herself. I was there in the background to step in if she needed me, but she didn’t – she did the whole two hour class without any help from me and she was magnificent. What a triumph of achievement. What a long way she’s come.
She of all people makes me wonder what life is all about. She has a strong faith and I believe that this has helped her hugely. She also has a deep internal strength and an understanding that sometimes she has to be stronger than she wants to be because of the people around her who love her deeply. You can see that from her text about having to try and help her parents.
When I first met her I wouldn’t have dreamt of writing about her on my blog. She was a very private person who didn’t want to talk about what she was going through. Now it’s different. We’ve spent a lot of time together discussing the various aspects of our lives. “Control the controllables” she has said to me on more than one occasion. I know she reads my blog and I hope she won’t mind me writing about her, but she has her own blog now. Full of thoughts and recipes and stuff in general. She’s come a long way in the time that I’ve known her and whilst she’s got a long journey ahead of her she is still full of hope and surrounded by love.
It must feel exhausting at times like these to have to keep going. To feel that you are up against another brick wall that you have to climb over or break through. She observed once that from the outside looking in, people assume that you are incredibly brave to deal with the shit that life throws at you, but that it’s not really like that. When you are going through a trauma, you just have to deal with it as best you can.
So, my lovely friend, “When life gets tough, keep going, an hour at a time, a day at a time, one step at a time”.
We’ll all keep going with you.
saz
February 2, 2010Such a poignant post and your friend will be very proud l’m sure that you have written about her, honoured her in this way. She has had a profound effect on you. As your post has had on me.
Thank you.
Every good and positive thought and wish and even prayer goes out to your friend.
saz x
Dulwich Divorcee
February 2, 2010Good luck to your brave friend. Makes me feel terrible for all my whingeing about things that are not important at all. xx
English Mum
February 2, 2010I feel for your friend. I really do. She sounds like my friend, C, who although suffering with a terminal brain tumour (secondary to a particularly evil strain of breast cancer) insisted on walking around Dublin with me to do her Christmas shopping, even though at one stage she was practically collapsing with exhaustion. And why? Why would she put herself through the agony? She just couldn’t bear the thought of her children not having a perfectly filled Christmas stocking. Give your friend an extra hug from me xxx
Family Affairs
February 2, 2010I will. Thanks L x
Nicola
February 2, 2010what an incredible post about an incredible person. Certainly reminds me to put my life into perspective and be totally and utterly grateful for the good health that I have right now. Thinking of her xx
Crystal Jigsaw
February 2, 2010I am so sorry to read about this woman who is an obvious friend with a beautiful soul. I say a prayer for her tonight and hope she will be with you soon to continue her life as normal.
Lovely post, I am sure she will agree.
CJ xx
Lucia
February 2, 2010Thinking of you both.
teeth whitening
February 3, 2010I loved your blog theme! Did you develop it yourself or is it downloadalbe from somehwere?
Family Affairs
February 3, 2010Thanks – it’s my photo that I took in Zambia this summer and then my web man tweaked for me to change their colour….Lx
Rosie Scribble
February 3, 2010God I’m sobbing. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much after reading a blog post in my life. I feel for your friend so much, and for all those around her who are suffering with her, as clearly you are. (Have composed myself a little now). We were lucky, very lucky, our story did have a happen ending against all the odds. I am so desperate for your friend to have that outcome too. Thank you for quoting my post. Those words helped me and still do when life gets tough. Easier to write than put into practise of course, and very easy for me to write after the event when life is positive again, but the world does keep turning and we have to keep going eve if it is just a minute at a time. Sending love and hugs and wishing your friend well, desperately wishing your friend well. xxx
Family Affairs
February 3, 2010Thanks Rosie, sorry to make you cry – and thanks for your words of wisdom and lovely message Lx
Chic Mama
February 3, 2010It does make us question ….why? Thinking of you both at this difficult time. x
Family Affairs
February 3, 2010Thank you x