I am having a moment. Another one.
My blog, or more specifically my writing, is still under fire and I’ve been told to think very carefully about my obsession with divorce and the damage it is doing to my children. To be honest, I don’t believe I have to think too hard about that – I have already given it much thought. I write a blog about my life, which happens to be about a single divorced parent and all that goes with it and I don’t believe that constitutes an obsession. Neither do I think my children are being damaged. However, the constant criticism is exhausting me. So I am going to do exactly what I’ve been asked to do, take the advice and go away to think about it for a minute.
Anyway, it’s probably a good thing to have a bit of a break. It can be tiring this bloody blogging and sometimes it can get in the way of other things. The blog (which I love most of the time) has in itself frustrated me of late, not only because of the complicated personal stuff I can’t write about but because I get more invites to advertise and review things and I just don’t know what to do about it all.
Take for example yesterday. I had over 1000 hits on my blog – this happens quite regularly these days and can depend not only on the subject matter but on what day of the week it is – Monday is the day that most people check in and catch up. That level of hits is WAY more than I used to get when I started and yet, at the moment, I get barely any comments.
I am supposed to understand social media these days. I even give talks on the subject now, but there still seems to be no concrete answers about what does and does not succeed and to be honest I am as puzzled as the next person about what the secret is. Perhaps there isn’t one. Perhaps it’s just luck or timing. Perhaps I am supposed to add more links and advertise and tweet more and start my Facebook page and promote everything more but it’s all so very confusing and yes, I’ll get more hits, but to be honest I’d take the comments any day.
Anyway, I have to keep reminding myself that I started my blog as a hobby and as a cheap form of counselling – the fact that I’m having to be counselled about my blog is quite funny really (in a scary strange sort of way).
So if there is anyone reading this out there who has not accidentally popped in and has managed to read this far, perhaps you could share your thoughts on my social media conundrum. How do you compose the perfect tweet? Is there such a thing? The one that gets re-tweeted over and over again? Apparently 90% of tweets are never retweeted and just get lost in the mass. Does having millions of followers mean that your tweet gets noticed more? I have been told that I can pay to have new Twitter followers – what is the point of that? They wouldn’t be interested in anything I write because it is not relevant, although I do know that there are competitions going amongst the rich and famous to get more followers than the next one – is that healthy? Or relevant to advertisers? According to some new social media research it doesn’t necessarily relate into selling products or being a brand influencer because it’s difficult to know who you are talking to most of the time. Gwyneth Paltrow is on to a good thing. She is obviously already hugely well known and people are fascinated in her life and happy to buy into it. She is slowly but surely turning herself into a brand for life. She’s got a website and is spreading her areas of interest into food, makeup, lifestyle stuff. Good plan. But the only problem is you have to be as famous as her in order to do it.
These days I get emails about all sorts of things. I have become an expert in “Labyrinthitis” due to the fact that sufferers have googled the problem, found my post and then contacted me. The posts that gets the most hits are random ones I’ve written about big bums, hairy nipples and willies. I get emails saying “I love your blog, but you would have many more hits if you link to our porn website”. Don’t tempt me. Perhaps that should be my new way forward. I have put a test post below this one. I guarantee that post will bring in more hits.
What about advertising on blogs? Do you think it affects how and what you write? Should you mention brand names in your posts? I would love, for example to post the photograph of my son and all his mates posing, as if in a school rugby photo outside their school completely naked with just a can of K Cider each to hide their nether regions. It’s hilarious and would be a brilliant advertising campaign for K cider (as would the tattoo on his arse), but that isn’t the same as agreeing to have a can of K Cider sitting on the sidebar of my blog at all times.
So I’m just going to shuffle quietly out of the door and slink away for a minute. ALTHOUGH I WILL KILL YOU ALL IF, WHEN I COME BACK, YOU HAVEN’T EVEN NOTICED I’VE GONE. I am of course expecting at least 5 comments to be waiting for me. Perhaps I’d better send some to myself, just in case.
Back soon x