Honestly, what would I do without my children. My head would be the size of San Francisco. Probably. I’d swan around not having a clue that I looked completely awful with no dress sense or rhythm.
This morning two of my children have gone back to school. They seem to have had a different half term experience from everybody else in the country. Annoyingly. Anyway, because my dizzy thing seems to have finally gone (more of that later) I decided I’d go for a quick run having dropped them at school. But it was cold. So I put on a woolly hat, gloves, scarf and some other clothes, obviously and was ready to leave.
Well. If looks could kill. I might as well have been naked and brandishing a machete. My daughter said “mum, you look like a total minger and if you even DARE get out of the car or let ANYBODY see you looking like that I will never speak to you again”. What fun I had on the drive to school threatening to wave at people I knew and suggesting that maybe I should attach myself to her leg as she got out of the car and shout “DON’T LEAVE ME”.
She was not amused.
Honestly, over the last few days I have had insult after insult from my children. Apparently I was an embarrassment at the wedding – dreadful dancing, too loud, hugged too many people, wrong sort of breathing. You name it. I was doing it.
At least my lovely 10 year old boy didn’t comment on my attire this morning. He just looked me up and down and then smiled and when my daughter gazelled off he came to the car window and kissed me through it and patted me on the shoulder, like I’d just had some very bad news.
Small mercies.
Yesterday I had a lovely day with my daughter and my niece. She liked me then. We were in Westfields and I had the wallet. She talked a lot about snake venom, looking directly at me. Told me t was the latest must have thing for WRINKLES and that some of her friend’s mums are using it and look AMAZING. Why didn’t I try it?
My friend in Australia has just emailed me:
“Just got something from Space NK – what’s all this about snake venom?”
“Don’t know”. I will reply. “Probably very expensive and won’t work. Will send Builder Bloke off to Africa to catch a black mamba – that should a) be cheaper and b) completely paralyse face for future – like one big botox injection”.
Does anybody know if it works?
PippaD
October 26, 2010Tops told me I looked like a monkey the other day. I assume she thinks I am hairy.
fd
October 26, 2010isn’t it nice though that they still are at an age where they care whether their mum looks cool enough?
Family Affairs
October 26, 2010I suppose that’s another way of looking at it….Lx
QldDeb
October 27, 2010I like to prescribe to the alien theory.
My little angels got lifted up when they were around 13-14 and abducted for about 5-6 years. They were replaced with ungrateful, selfish, rude little so-and-so’s.
I’m still waiting for them to return my daughter, she’s 17 now so it shouldn’t be too much longer. Hopefully.
Family Affairs
October 27, 2010Hmmm. Abducted by aliens – no wonder they want huge supplies of snake venom! Lx
LoopyLu
October 27, 2010Aww, my youngest are 3 and 4 and they tell me I look beautiful even when I look horrific. I love them. Think my 12 year old is just starting to become lookist. He won’t go into to town with me. EVER. Funny reason though; people ask if I’m his girlfriend. Haaa! (am 30 though, and wrinkly. They must see us from really far away…).
Family Affairs
October 27, 2010WOW lucky you – I generally get am I his/her Grandmother! Lx