I have now spent three days attempting to find a summer holiday for my family. There are 10 of us. My parents. My children. My brothers and their partners and my three year old niece. I am going completely mad. The list of requirements is so diverse it’s ridiculous.
My mother cannot walk anywhere owing to a bad back and consequently wants to go somewhere relatively local, with all the amenities close to hand. She needs a comfortable bed. My father is on chemo and therefore doesn’t want to go too far away or be too hot.
My younger brother wants to go to Malaysia or Borneo to see the orangutans or walk through the jungle. He wants to be hot and he wants to be in a basic beach hut with a mat on the floor.
My children want to go on Safari or an expensive all inclusive water sports holiday or somewhere ridiculously exotic and expensive.
I would like to be in a hotel so that my children are not bored and so that I am not cooking for 10 people every night. My other brother does not want to be in a hotel because he has a three year old. Therefore we will have to go for a villa. But it has to be close to a beach and not a million miles away. Not too hot but not too cold. The beds can’t be too hard or too soft….and how do they cook the f’g porridge?
I give up.
Actually, I would like to enlist your help. I see I have 2 readers in Brazil, 3 in Indonesia, 4 in Malaysia, 14 in India, 16 in Thailand, several in Russia, loads in the US – if any of you have a spare 10 person holiday home that fits the above requirements, please let me know. I’d really appreciate it. You won’t notice us at all. We’re all very quiet and very small.