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I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT I'M STILL SHOWING OFF ABOUT MOTHER'S DAY and revelling in my Queen Bee status as single mother who rules the roost...... LOOK at what my 20 year old university son sent me - a card that he actually thought about several days before the event - which is massively impressive given how all his plans are generally only made three minutes before anything actually happens. HE ACTUALLY PRE-ordered it online AND NOT BOUGHT AT A PETROL STATION!!!:- Here is his card, with a gorgeous "thanks for everything you've done for me, I couldn't do anything without you" message...set against a backdrop of beautiful flowers bought by my daughter. Happy happy HAPPEEEEEE mother:-
So, what does it mean to be a mother? Everything. When they were younger, it was the hardest job in the world. I put a lot of effort and energy into their development (short of sitting on the floor building lego castles and hanging around in playgrounds). Not really sure what that effort did specifically entail, but as any SAHM knows, they managed to fill up our time very successfully. Suddenly they day had disappeared, their father was coming home and I was exhausted. Getting through those early years was tough. Any of you going through that bit now should really listen to those older women who say the time disappears in a flash - because it's true. It does. I still hold my childrens hand sometimes, when no one they know is looking but now it's my hand that is the smallest in the family and that feels strange. I still have a 12 year old boy, so my child rearing years have not disappeared completely yet, but trust me, if you do one thing to make the time with your children easier - remember to enjoy it. It goes SO fast, it's ridiculous. Especially if somewhere in the middle there you have to go through divorce - I weep sometimes for the bits I missed during that time. Anyway, the upside of divorce is that my children have always had to step up for birthday's, Christmas, Mother's Day and do stuff for themselves. No more spectacularly is it done than by my immensely thoughtful youngest son. He actually took me out for dinner last night - to Wagamama's! Paid for my main course. How lovely is that? (even if my wine cost more than my main course). We had a lovely evening and this morning... LOOK what he made me for breakfast this morning - IN BED!! With the most gorgeous, heartfelt, handwritten letter:- That boy is going to go far. If nothing else, he will make the most amazing partner to somebody very lucky. My firstborn sent me a lovely card, thanking me for everything I have done for him and daughter has bought me some flowers and given me her usual voucher for coffee at The Wolsely. I am to be Queen for a day. Yay. Those of us who are lucky enough to be mothers have the most difficult and best job in the world. I wrote last week about how quiet my house it when they are away:- Everything was in the same place that I left it The house was clean and tidy There was food in the fridge I had mountains of milk There were no arguments It was eerily quiet My mascara was where I left it My Top Shop jumper was where I left it I could find my Ugg boots There was no mess in the kitchen and no tea bags in the sink The lights were all off when I get home The TV was silent All the beds were made BUT It all felt empty and sad. Too quiet. Not natural. I am supremely grateful for the messy life that they give me - for the arguments and the noise and the missing mascara and the stress and the lack of clothes and the cold feet (missing Uggs)....because one day, my job will be over and they will flee the nest and then I am going to have to find a way to either replicate the noise or get used to the silence - perhaps I will rent my house out to flash mobs or circus troops or maybe a zoo, because the silence will be deafening and life will be too ordered and I am not ready for that. I wouldn't change what we've got for the world. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU ALL AND OF COURSE A HUGE THANK YOU TO MY OWN MOTHER FOR BEING THE BEST MOTHER EVER IN THE WORLD!! Separate post to come about that....
I have mentioned before that I am seriously thinking about living in a commune with my single girlfriends and all their children. Sharing the load and dividing up the tasks. The main difficulty for me working all of a sudden full time is feeding my children something healthy and nutritious at the right time. If left to their own devices they would have a take-away every day of the week - even if I found the time (and inclination) to cook in advance they would decide to eat other things - my food, for some reason nearly always gets rejected by my children if I'm not around to force feed them. SO as I mentioned, my gorgeous girlfriend has been helping me out. Bringing her kids round. Feeding them all together. It's working well. My house is full and my children are fed. Thank you so much to my daughter's friend for taking some splendid photos of all the action in my absence:- Teeny weeny person with very large ball:- Marginally worried about where it has gone:- My new breakfast tin:- Fights:- More fights and still it's not all the children - three missing!:- Supper time:- The weary traveller returns to civilisation - bliss:- My "Live Love Laugh" picture my friend bought - love it:- You see? It works! I love her xx
As usual, I have become aware of One Direction's new song behind 26 million other viewers of their new video on Youtube, but still, hopefully it's not too late to share. It's a very sweet little song and haven't they come a long way. Gorgeous little boys are turning into gorgeous little men (albeit with some strange hairstyles) and I'm wondering whether Harry still has a penchant for older women..... Nevertheless, the new song has a lovely sentiment, because I agree - it is the little things ultimately that make you love someone and that's why today I am completely in love with everyone I know because I had a really lovely birthday weekend thanks to all my lovely friends and my family. Friday night I had a lovely romantic meal out, Saturday I went to the rugby with friends - England/Fiji and spent the whole second half willing Fiji to win a few more points but I was blown away by standing in a roaring crowd of 82,000 people all dressed up in silly clothes and singing and dancing and then.....we had a minute silence for Remembrance Day and it was unbelievable how quiet that many people can be if necessary - you could literally hear your own breathing. Not even a phone rang. I was so pleased, (after my Orang Utan moment) that mine didn't ring. My son drove back down from university to be here for my birthday and appeared with my youngest son for my Saturday night celebrations. It was only meant to be a few friends join me, my mother and my two brothers, sister in law and niece for a casual curry. But as usual, what started as a sedate event ended up with my two brothers becoming a comedy act, my girlfriend giving one brother piggybacks in my kitchen and my other brother dancing wildly to "Bat Out Of Hell". Unluckily for him, my son filmed it all and trust me, it is not a pretty sight. The next morning his text read "Judging by how I am feeling, I must have really enjoyed myself". He was very funny too about my new role as "Social Meeja Director" because he cannot for the life of him fathom what on earth I am actually doing and as a Consultant Haematologist" with a very clear scientific job remit he does not do "vague" very well..."but what is it exactly that you say when you go into a meeting? How can you not really know what is going to come out of your mouth? I would never go into a meeting unless I knew exactly what I was going to say - it makes no sense at all that someone actually wants to PAY you for that...." then he wandered off to ask the next person, becoming increasingly more concerned as the evening wore on. My other brother bought me a book called "Social Networking For The Older Generation" for my birthday and I am delighted to report that it is for people who have been living in a cave since Facebook began - basically it tells you how to get friends on Facebook and what a "poke" is. Oh and he also bought me a world atlas because everybody is in agreement that if I'm going to work in the travel industry I need to know what Europe looks like and where the longest river is....I pointed out that I spent a long time in the music industry knowing nothing about music, but still. I am really going to try and learn about a few borders - for example do you know how many countries border Turkey? I do. If you are born on the 11th November, then it's always great to find that it falls on a Sunday - because that makes it extra special and I wore my poppy all week with pride until it fell down the loo and looked very sorry for itself. Sunday morning was spent in the glorious sunshine watching my youngest child play football and they won which was a major bonus. Then I had coffee with lots of girlfriends, lunch at home with family and then an evening out with yet more friends at a local pub. Just lovely. Now I am exhausted and have a recycling box of shame to put outside full of far too many empty bottles.