Navigate our site
I AM NOT HAVING A VERY GOOD DAY. I have taught four different groups of women today - one was a private session with a woman with MS and she is truly amazing but I've hurt my back moving her immobile limbs about. I have driven my children around endlessly, dealt with youngest son's trauma of having to wear a girl's tracksuit all day, dealt with my daughter's trauma of thinking she was going to get her braces off and then only the bottom ones were removed, dealt with three annoying children all winding each other up over our meal and complaining about my food until I was feeling more domestic troll than domestic goddess and they were discussing rubbish like:- "What do you mean you can't eat that advent calender chocolate mum made for you because it's got bubbles in? That's so rude - it took her ages" "I don't like bubbles in chocolate" "You can't taste bubbles in chocolate, you idiot, they're just air. Air doesn't taste of anything" "It's not how it tastes, it's how it feels in my mouth. I don't like the texture". "You like Aero's" "No I don't" "You like mint Aero's" "NO I DON"T" "Well you did" "Well, I don't anymore" (abbreviated version, won't bore you with that bit) "Anyway, that advent calender chocolate doesn't actually have bubbles, it's just got little holes where the chocolate isn't" "THAT'S THE SAME AS A BUBBLE YOU MINGER" "Well, it's not bubble shaped" And so on.... Then I managed to send a quick email to a friend saying "a bit bushy at the moment, talk tomorrow". Then one of my oldest friends rang me and quite without meaning to, totally freaked me out. "OMG, I didn't know he was getting MARRIED to that woman! Surely not!! That's a nightmare. We all know that was her plan from the beginning - how come it's working so well? Is he mad?. It's so sudden. Has he got a pre-nup? What about the children's inheritance? What if she has another child? What do the children think? Why is he doing that? Should I speak to him?" and so on....I kept trying to reassure her, but more myself that it was all going to be fine. When you are dealing with a situation, you just have to get on with it. It's like any sort of trauma or illness. There are not a lot of alternative options. You just have to keep going. I have no option but to distance myself and move on. I will not be able to escape completely. I will have to talk about the upcoming wedding with my children. That will be hard enough. I can't even begin to think what else will be round the corner. "I hope everyone will be happy" I told her, "my ex, my children and Builder Bloke's children" - it's much better to think like that instead of wanting to run everybody over. Last night, my oldest son needed to stay at his dad's to revise for his driving theory test and therefore my youngest child wanted to go to - which was completely fine - he doesn't see enough of his dad. I was going out for dinner with my dad (his first excursion back to London on his own after his major operation and post operation infection) and therefore told my son that it was fine for him to stay but could he ask his father to pick him up. Father subsequently rang and we had a petty argument about who was going to pick up when. My new philosophy, which is clearly immensely annoying is to hang up if we're arguing. I simply don't want to argue with him anymore. I don't argue with anyone else on the planet. It's unpleasant. So two minutes later he sent me this text:- "If you're incapable of talking without putting the phone down simply because you don't like me disagreeing with you it's quite difficult to communicate. Little surprise that we don't agree on much given the fact that your attitude has always been "my way or nothing". You've been consistently rude to me and have been telling me what to do for over 6 years. I'm not going to be pushed around by you anymore! I asked you if you could drop our son off because I don't have my car. You said "NO". I said OK, if I pick him up and walk him over to mine you pick him up tomorrow. No great hardship I assume as you'll be passing that way. I have someone coming to my house at 8.30 so any time before or around then. Grateful if you could let me and him know so that he's no longer upset that he might not be coming" Well, if I've been telling him what to do for over 6 years, I'm not sure he's done what he's told because he sure as hell isn't doing anything that I would like him to be doing. AND NOW I'M PISSED OFF. HOW IS THAT SORT OF TEXT HELPFUL? HOW IS A REFERENCE TO THE LAST SIX YEARS OF TRAUMA IN ANYWAY RELEVANT? Rubbish day.