MEN AND WOMEN ARE BORN THIS WAY
Ha ha – true?
I am very pleased to note that a recent Travel Trends Report for 2013 has acknowledged a rise in groups of women travelling together on holiday. In particular a significant emerging group that has been identified is that of “girlfriends […]
Oxfam have asked me to host this photo exhibition - I am delighted to do so - especially as it highlights the fact that there are many women around the world who don't have the same facilities as we do whilst giving birth. It puts our whale music and birth plans and choices to shame. Check out the photo of her overnight bag to get the full difference.... Please pass this post on and make a difference. BIRTH RIGHTS. THE CAMPAIGN FACTS. Pregnant women in Ghana are now entitled to free health care. This is a huge step forward, but too many women are still dying because they lack access to qualified care. We need urgent investment to help save lives. Oxfam have asked me to host a photo exhibition of a woman who gave birth in Ghana recently. She was fortunate enough to benefit from the government’s new free health care policy, but many women – especially in remote, rural areas – are still missing out. Ghana has a 25 million population and according to Lionel Barber, editor of the Financial Times "is one of the most stable democratic countries in Africa; but its huge potential remains unrealised. He asks, "now that it has discovered oil, will it assume some Nigerian swagger?". At least, the government will have increased funds to invest in free health care for all their citizens. What’s happening? Every week, around 75 women in Ghana die because of complications during pregnancy and childbirth. The vast majority of these deaths are completely preventable. Why are women dying? ► There aren’t enough qualified health workers. ► Health facilities are often far from women’s homes. ► Pregnant women don’t know they can get free care. ► Poorer communities rely on traditional, often unqualified, care. What needs to be done? ► The government in Ghana needs to invest more to improve and expand government health services and increase the number of health workers, so more women receive good-quality, free health care, especially in rural areas. ► The UK government needs to fulfil its commitment to give 0.7% of its income to overseas aid, so that Ghana and other poor countries can invest in free maternal health care – and save women. SELINA Selina Fletcher, 30, prepares to go to the labour ward of Korle Bu Teaching Hospital, Accra, Ghana’s premier health care facility. In Ghana, Selina is one of the lucky ones – many pregnant women here still do not get the quality, free health care they are entitled to:- Selina’s overnight bag. In Ghana, many patients are required to bring their own disinfectant, bed sheet, hair net and cloths. Selina didn’t bring these items with her, and was told to buy them as soon as she arrived. The policy of free health care for pregnant women in Ghana was a big step forward, but these extra costs are still unaffordable for many. Selina is taken to the labour ward through the busy waiting area of Korle Bu Hospital, Accra. As Selina’s contractions intensify, the midwife examines her using the basic equipment available. Further investment is needed to train more health workers and provide modern equipment and medicines, so more women can survive childbirth. After five hours in labour, Selina gives birth to a girl. A midwife is there throughout delivery and helps to clean the baby. Across Ghana, nearly half of all women give birth without assistance from a qualified health worker. Savina, named after her Grandmother, opens her eyes for the first time. HOW GORGEOUS IS THIS??? Selina and her baby girl Savina take rest in a ‘lying-in’ ward. Around 35 hours after giving birth, Selina (far right) leaves the hospital with her friends and family:- Selina’s friend Sarah (left) helps her to settle in at home after the taxi ride from the city:- Selina’s two sons meet their baby sister for the first time:- Selina is fortunate to have benefited from Ghana’s free health care policy, but not all women are as lucky. Not all women here are aware of their right to free care, a situation made worse by low levels of literacy and limited education on health-related issues.
Can it really be true that a quarter of women in America are on some sort of regular “psychiatric medication?”. A QUARTER OF THE FEMALE POPULATION??? A report from MedCo published last week notes that 25% of US women take […]
Last week TV presenter Kirstie Allsopp controversially stated that always putting your man first was the key to a successful relationship. She said "if you do what your partner prefers, he is happy and the children have a great time too". Do you agree with that? I don't. This makes me angry - comments like this. I am all for accepting the wonderful world of gender differences, but frankly this sort of statement takes us right back to the last century. Surely most relationships are now based on mutual respect and equality? If not then on a compromise agreeable to both? Why should one partner expect or deserve to be happier than the other? Is it right that children learn that imbalance from an early age even if outwardly calm and happy? I did try that approach when I was married - tried to go and watch cricket matches and other sports with the children in tow but it made us all miserable, which admittedly was my fault because I didn't come from a sporting family and wasn't used to it. My parents spent every weekend doing stuff together. Of course, it is quite clear that I am not qualified to comment because I got it all wrong. One writer, in agreement with Kirstie states:- "I know of couples where the husband commutes to London during the week to work 10 hours per day in order to support the family and then at the weekend gets told by the wife: "No, you're not going to play golf, it's your turn to have the kids, I need some "me time". I am amazed the men stick around to be bossed about. I'm sure most of them are having affairs - in fact, I hope they are poor blighters. If you don't look after your man, someone else will". That really makes me feel sad because that is pretty much what happened to us. I was one of those awful women who when at home with three small children wanted her husband around at the weekends to do family stuff and to spend time together. He did work unbelievably hard and was used to playing lots of sport and needed an outlet. I get that. He did get to do his thing sometimes, but I simmered with resentment because I couldn't do my thing. It was just a bad time and we didn't manage to sort it out. Small children make everything go wrong for a minute and to be honest I thought I was working unbelievably hard as well - or at least it felt like that at the time. I hadn't realised that there are actually women out there encouraging men to have affairs the minute the going gets tough. Writers like the one above who justify breaking up a marriage at this precarious time, because it's all the woman's fault. What about the women who work full time as well? Where do the same sex partnerships stand on this issue? Is one assigned the job of resident doormat for their relationship to survive? Or is it actually supposed to be just what it says on the packet - a PARTNERSHIP. Where both strive to understand, sympathise, empathise and compromise their way through the messy thing we call life. Surely it's all about communication? We are equal partners here trying to find a way to make it work. Women who stay at home to look after the children are more inclined to feel they have to do what their man says, in my limited experience and very often this comes down to who is in financial power - but even then it's got to be a compromise that works both ways. It is very very difficult. I'm quite sure we weren't really designed to live together when bringing up kids. Quite frankly most friends I know would have been much happier living in a commune with women and many children all eating and playing together. The men could then have played sport to their hearts content and gone to the pub. We could all have shared babysitting duties and had a sex rota to meet your partner at least twice a week. It is not easy raising a family and trying to focus on your relationship at the same time. I know that from personal experience. But my advice is that you have to work at it and you have to be honest and talk about it and most importantly of all, make it very clear to "your man" and any of those women apparently waiting in the wings to pounce on "your man" that it would be very very stupid to do anything rash before your youngest child is five. You shouldn't give up, shouldn't wander off. If you married for love you should stick with it - because warped as it might be in the middle years of change and nappies, it will get better as the kids get older. Everybody gets their life back and it gets better. There we are then. That's my view. Biased as hell. What do you think?
Sometimes a random email comes along that makes me cry…. A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities […]