21ST BIRTHDAY PARTY

At the last minute I decided to throw my daughter a “proper” 21st birthday party. She didn’t really want one as the original plan was to just have a “gathering” and then for her birthday present she wanted a trip to NYC to drink cocktails with me. However, given yesterday’s election news, I’m very happy that we decided to focus on a party instead of a trip to New York. With Trump at the helm, the whole world will have to wait a while to see how things are going to play out.

So I hired a small marquee, which is sort of essential in November in London. A gazebo can’t take a heater and it’s too cold without one. She didn’t know I was doing that and hadn’t really invited anyone, but that is never a worry with that age group. They never make plans until the last minute anyway, so all was well and she managed to drum up a sizeable crowd in no time at all. We also decided that a crucial part of the mix was to get a DJ – it’s always a nightmare if you just have a playlist because people cannot resist changing it constantly and you never get a flow.  Also, it’s good to have someone gauging the mood as the evening progresses – not only of the partygoers but also of the neighbours and trust me it’s a very fine balance to get that right. My son has a friend who plays at Bestival who was perfect in the role.

I’ve managed a few parties in my time now, so I thought I’d list the crucial ingredients required for having a successful 21st birthday party other than the obvious and most important room full of friends.  Initially I was worried about having to host it all on my own – it’s not so easy being a single mum at one of your own children’s parties.  You have to have your wits about you – do the speech, keep an eye on the crowd and it’s a bit sad not to have someone helping support you, but oh well, that’s how it is and I’m really delighted I did it anyway:-

• Don’t worry too much, as long as friends are there, they don’t really care about the details and also it’s great to involve the wider family – grandparents and uncles, aunts, cousins….they all love a party. (Well mine do anyway).  Invite some of your own friends too – they are great fun to have there and usually the ones behaving badly by the end!
• This is the only photo of me and my daughter together. We are both showing rather a lot of flesh, but her’s looks fab and mine just looks awful, but oh well, I am clearly having a lovely time and looking very happy and proud:-
• Don’t make the space too big – they love a tight squash.
• Plastic everything to drink from.
• I bought cheap gin, vodka and rum with mixers as well as some white wine and prosecco (you need more than you think).  Don’t bother with red wine.
• Get some young things to help serve drinks.  My youngest son enrolled two friends to be barmen for the evening as that’s always quite helpful at the beginning.
• We got pizza delivered at 11pm ish for their food. Not only does it mop up the alcohol but it’s super easy and they love it.
• Get a few helium balloons to set the scene, but not too many – they don’t notice anyway.
• Bowls of sweets always a good idea but don’t buy chewy ones – huge mistake I realised the next morning as I was scraping them off the floor.
• Buy the small bottles of water for them to drink.  They won’t drink water from a glass but a bottle works well late at night when they need rehydrating
• Ask a few of their friends to make a short speech – it goes down really well and they’re the ones who have all the best stories!
• Hire a DJ if you can – ideally one the same age as the partygoers as they will generally get the right tone for the music and party with them…
• Ideally get someone to take some photos. I massively failed at this task – sure there are loads on friends phones, but all mine were blurry – can’t think why!
• Let them party till the bitter end.  We had to stop the loud music relatively early, but we continued inside with a small speaker.  They don’t really care as long as they’re still together.   Nothing worse than having to stop having fun at a certain time – I know this is not great advice for your neighbours, but if it’s for a one off, like a 21st birthday party and you’ve invested all that time and effort it’s a shame to cut it short. I pulled the plug at 6.30am!! By which time they were all ready for bed although my son did try and make me give everyone a ten minute warning – “10 minute warning??? Are you joking?” I said, “do you know what time it is??”….
• Try and stay up and party with them. I know it will take it’s toll, but it’s so much FUN.
• Get a friend to make the birthday cake if you’re anything like me – my lovely friend did us proud:-

My mother got escorted off to bed at some point – a sign on the door is a good idea!

The next day is always a disaster. House is trashed, but OH WELL, it’s really, really worth it for the wonderful warm fuzzy feeling and all those memories.