Clearly it is me and my blogging support group against the rest of the world, regarding my son’s gainful employment as a modelling agency pimp. I have talked to a number of friends – all the males (young and old) without fail think it’s the best job in the world and whilst most of the females agree with me, the general consensus is that I can’t really stop him accepting the job if he’s going to be at the club anyway especially because it’s his mates mum that has asked him. All I can do is explain to him why I feel uncomfortable with it (like he’ll give a shit) and hope that he takes my views on board. His mates are immensely jealous. They all think that he’s going to be able to pull loads of girls that way. Strangely, none of them see this as a problem.
I’m exhausted today and don’t feel that well. I made a fatal error yesterday. I let my daughter stay at home from school because she had period pains. As a direct result, this morning my 8 year old woke up with period pains and couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t let him stay at home. He was absolutely incensed that she had had a day at home and he clearly wasn’t going to get one. We had the second wave of the “I’m far too ill to go to school” drama for an hour before school with lots of quite impressive gagging and wailing and holding of stomach. I even got the “RIGHT. I’M GOING TO PHONE DAD AND ASK HIM IF I CAN STAY AT HOME – HE’LL LET ME”. “Go on then” I told him, willing his father not to disagree with me on this one…..he came back a few minutes later looking a little deflated. “He say’s “your mother knows best”, BUT HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT”.
I was trying to be sympathetic but it wasn’t easy when I was in the middle of planning my impending exercise class and thinking about what breathing/strengthening/stretching exercises I was going to be doing, whilst attempting to maintain some sort of calm. My walk up to school couldn’t have been more tense – it really was quite tempting to completely lose the plot and rant and rave and kick things but that, I’m quite sure isn’t in any of the yoga manual.
So. My next tactic is bribery. I think it might work. There are things he wants in life. I must give it some thought. What he wants most in the world is a penknife. He has asked me every day for a month. I think 8 is too young to be an owner of a penknife. Particularly in this day and age.
I have told him that for the moment a knife is out of the question a) because I don’t think he’s old enough and b) because he cannot control his temper and therefore I would not trust him to be sensible with it. This evening he said “mum, apart from this morning I have been trying really hard and I have completely lost my temper. It’s gone. I didn’t have it last week and I won’t have it again”.
An understandable error – a bit like his mother who has completely lost her sense of humour and possibly her mind.
Fat, frumpy and fifty...
January 27, 2009Oh what a great post!! You have certainly lost your mind..I can tell, but not your marbles or your sense of humour…you made me chortle out loud..yes chortle…s did your son…a knife eh? MMmm has cubs/boy scouts been suggested??then he may have one and learn to us eit properly only for use in garden???
your garden..
night!!
ExAfrica
January 27, 2009Just discussing this very topic with my sister – I was feeling awkward for doing a “reward” chart. She pointed out to me that adults would not hold down jobs were they not rewarded. Some call it bribery I now call it wages!
And in this house it has worked a charm in the behavioral department.
Good luck!
Expat mum
January 27, 2009Well great. I just spat the last mouthful of Pinot all over the place laughing at the 8 year old’s period pains. You owe me one, although it’s not really funny. Bless. And just tell him it’s illegal for an 8 year old to have a knife – because it should be.
wife in the north
January 28, 2009I too have a penknife dilemma going on. I promised both sons full box of boy stuff (a la Dangerous Book of Boys) only to realise too late 8yr old might have at 6 yr old with said penknife if mood took him (or vice versa.) Am I neurotic? Don’t answer that. Still, do we err on the side of caution or say boys will be boys, buy them the blades and wait for them to saw up the sofa?
Bush Mummy
January 28, 2009I just LOL at the period pains too! Fantastic..! Did you have to explain what periods were to him?
God it’s depressing to think the bribery just goes on and on and on.. I thought it was just when they were two and annoying..
I feel depressed now.
BM x
family affairs
January 28, 2009FFF that is such a good idea – he has been asking to go to cubs – should look in to it (and try to put aside my own feelings on the whole concept) Lx
ExAfrica your sister is so right – bribery will get you everywhere, just call it a reward or an incentive Lx
I know WITN – it’s such a difficult one – I don’t know what to do Lx
Yes BM I had to tell him that only girls got period pains and I’d explain why when he was a bit older – I only got away with that because he was so incensed he wasn’t really listening….do not be depressed….bribery (in the form of Tiffany jewellery) still works for me every time!! Lx
Anonymous
January 28, 2009My father has a noticeable scar on his face caused by a friend who had a penknife at about the age of ten. Not malicious, but an accident perhaps bourne of exhuberance. Dad bears no grudge but we were never allowed penknives as children, or even teenagers for this reason.
Chimera
January 29, 2009Marvellous post..if you can write like this when you are feeling dodgy …wow! My brother has a rage problem and he is in his 30’s and I wouldn’t trust him with a penknife yet…
Yep, Zambia in Feb but if I am lucky I might get back in July. Sounds like I miss you both times tho’.
Have to hook up in london eventually instead!
tanvi x
family affairs
January 29, 2009Well yes, Tanvi, I suppose it would be a lot simpler to meet in London than Zambia!! lx