If I was very rich I would have lots of baths in my house. I would pay somebody to pour baths for me and light candles so that I could wallow, hippopotamus like for hours getting wrinkly without a care in the world.
In the meantime, my luxury bath moment consists of sneaking to the only bathroom in the house whilst the children aren’t looking. First I have to pull out major hair balls from plug hole, then I have to clean the bath before I can get in it – at best there is creamy detritus of some description (shampoo? Hair remover cream? Exfoliator? Unknown substances don’t want to think about?) with bits of hair, at worst there is a full on rugby pitch of mud. I then have to try and climb my way over all 8 nearly finished shampoo bottles from all four corners of bath so that they don’t fall in and float about whilst I’m in the bath. Fleetingly I consider attempting to look for some calming bubble bath but knowing full well there will be none. Candles don’t even get a fleeting thought.
I try reading crumpled “OK” magazine that daughter pretended to buy but didn’t pay me back when she put it in my trolley. The pages are stuck together. I chuck that to one side and then simply attempt to just be for a minute breathing in. In less than a minute I have two of my children standing above me. Must remember to sort lock on door. I cross legs in vague attempt at modesty. They just want to chat. About nothing and laugh at my strawberry shower cap.
There is never a towel when I get out that isn’t already wet and on the floor except crunchy biscuit-like swimming towels.
One day I will maybe get my candles and soft towels, but then, I’ll probably miss the hairballs and the chat.
In fact, I definitely will.
karen
December 12, 2009Those towels… this is definitely a teenage thing! One thing I that makes up for the empty space when the kids are not in residence, anyway..
Been catching up on your blog, and I know that 2010 can really only be better..
Jon Storey
December 12, 2009This is all sounding scarily familiar! (except that we have sorted the door lock, otherwise youngest daughter would never wash!)
It must surely be common to all families? I hope…!
Miranda
December 12, 2009Ha! Great post…
Zed
December 13, 2009That’s why hotels were invented. They come fully equipped with huge baths and bottles of bubble bath, large towels and are incredibly clean.
There again, the last time I stayed in a hotel with baths like that was in 2006 during a conference.
Baths at home are over-rated – think of your water bill.
health ca
April 24, 2010I find myself coming to your blog more and more often to the point where my visits are almost daily now!