BEING MADE REDUNDANT

I’ve been quiet on here for a while.  Just processing my new world order.  Being made redundant is a big deal for anyone and that’s what has recently happened to me.  I’ve been expecting it for a while to be honest, but I’m not sure that makes it easier – especially not after 12 years at the same company.

Redundant. 

Not the greatest choice of words for anyone who has been told they are no longer needed in the workplace.  It makes you feel…well….redundant.  In other words “no longer needed or useful.”  Which is just a little bit shit, especially when you’re too old to start all over again.  I think there ought to be a better choice of word.  Looking at other options there is “unnecessary,” “not required,” “sacked,” “dismissed,” “laid off”…..none of which are any better.  “Superfluous?”  I’m not really sure there is a better choice of word.  Maybe it just is what it is.  No point in beating around the bush.

No longer required.

It’s been a strange time, because once we’d mutually agreed that making me redundant would be the best course of action, I had one day in the office before I left the following day to a lovely round of applause, but it was still sad and whilst I was only part time, it was very much part of my routine.  The other days I taught Pilates – and now I’m planning to up my teaching hours so that I can start filling in the gaps of my missing salary.  It’s not so easy though – again, given my age.  I know that shouldn’t be a barrier, but there are a lot of incredibly talented, brilliant teachers out there who are probably less than half my age and that gives them a massive advantage – in terms of energy and vigour….although maybe my years of experience will be enough to encourage people to still come to see me despite my ageing body.  I’m currently working towards my Reformer exam which is at least giving me a major focus on the days that I would otherwise be at work.

I’m not entirely sorry to have left my workplace.  Everyone was lovely, but I was probably older than most of their mum’s and that becomes an issue over time.  I don’t need to go into details as to why I felt marginalised and relatively invisible…it wasn’t like that every time I was in the office, but I’m not sure it was doing anything for my sense of self worth and importance in the world.  SO….onwards and upwards (even though they say it’s downhill from here on in).  I will not let it defeat me, I will rise from the ashes again and find a new way forward.

What else can you do?