CHRISTMAS

FINALLY our decorations are up and my Emo black tree is out and my children are suitably revolted and we’ve had the annual “tree looks like someone has vomited on it” comments and the usual arguments about what should go there and no interest shown by the oldest child AND THEN as I was winding the Christmas tree lights around the tree I got a massive electric shock that shot up my arm and into my head. Surprised I wasn’t actually letting off smoke from the top of my head. REALLY SCARY and a huge relief that it was me and not one of the children that got it.

People die from that sort of thing.

All our Christmas lights have now gone in the bin.

But. Still. Even with our little issues about the tree and electric shock and a few little bugs in da house and general life stuff, I don’t care about any of it because I am just so grateful that all three of my children are safe and sound and arguing in my house. I cannot get the Connecticut shootings out of my head for more than a minute. Those children. That violence. The parents. The pain. No point in writing much about it – it makes no sense whatsoever. What an unbearable Christmas they are all going to have.

My daughter is planning to write to President Obama about tightening gun laws. Will anything make a difference? How can these sorts of acts of violence mean that our children are terrified to let strangers in to schools. Where did that violence come from in his head? What trigger prompted that sort of behaviour? How long had he thoughts of mass destruction? Copycat behaviour? Whatever it is – games, videos, films, isolation, drugs, psychosis, illness, anger – these are the things that need to be looked at in the individual too. Apparently he had Asperger’s syndrome – although that obviously doesn’t explain his behaviour – I wonder if his mother really was a school teacher – thought to teach there, but I don’t think she did – so there will be much analysis of his hatred of school children presumably – based, perhaps on lack of love and attention that his mother gave him in relation to her pupils……who knows.

But I keep crying about it – that father talking about his daughter, the “tell your children you love them” messages. Desperate.