My doctor sent me to a dermatologist today, To check out a mole on my back. The dermatologist thinks it’s fine. She thinks I’ve just got chronic sun damage from all my years in Africa and Hong Kong and will therefore look 180 by the time I’m 50. Well. It’s hardly surprising. My memories of my childhood are mostly wandering around looking like one enormous blister. Shoulders and nose constantly bright red and bubbling and bloody sore. A couple of sleepless nights and bottles of calomine lotion later was then followed by hours of endless fun with brothers to see who could peel off the largest bit of skin in one go. Once, I seem to remember managing to shed my whole skin in one go. I just climbed out and appeared in a new pink and shiny skin in a much cheaper than dermabrasion sort of way, blinking and squinting into the light.
“You musn’t blame your parents” said the dermatologist this morning before I had even opened my mouth to blame my parents, “they didn’t know how damaging the sun was back then”. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” I said. “OF COURSE I”M GOING TO BLAME MY PARENTS. THAT’S MY JOB”. Just as my children will blame me for whatever harm they come to in the future. Anyway, frankly, my parents were wholly irresponsible. I’m amazed we all survived. We’d go on a boat for the day in the height of the summer virtually every weekend. With loads of other families. I would spend the day being sick at the back. My parents and their friends would get ridiculously pissed and smoke themselves to death. Those kids that didn’t get seasick would spend the day jumping off the top deck or quietly drowning or getting washed ashore or lost or stung by jellyfish or eaten by sharks. As long as we didn’t disturb the grownups, anything we did was completely fine. Oh. Except we had to stop enjoying ourselves in the water in order to continue burning on the top deck or being sick between the hours of 1pm and 2pm so that all the grown-ups could have a sleep.
“You mustn’t blame your parents”…..how ridiculous.
Jon Storey
February 23, 2010That’s what they are for. Ask our kids….!
Vegemitevix
February 23, 2010That’s hysterical and eerily familiar. My family lived like that too when we lived the expat life in Fiji! My nose was always red, so much so I actually developed a (benign) sunspot on my nose. Great memories though….
Nicola
February 23, 2010Absolutely hysterical. Sounds like some of the holidays we had on the Norfolk Broads. Well apart from the sun burn. And sharks and jelly fish. My mum would smother herself in cooking oil. I had no idea that sun screen had even been invented and am now covered in moles (beauty spots! my mum would retort, even today). Or sunglasses (my eyes – being blue – were impacted by not wearing sunglasses on even a vaguely sunny day my optician confirmed gaily). Thanks for the permission to blame them thoroughly and wholeheartedly – after all, I do give them credit where it’s due too, so it’s only fair that they take the flack with the praise!
Expat Mum
February 24, 2010Although I grew up in England, I can remember a couple of really bad sunburns under the age of ten. I know no one was as aware of sun damage as we are today, but really! What were they thinking?
Di Foden
February 24, 2010What an idyllic childhood. Elf and Safety/Social Sevices would run them in these days.
Heather
February 24, 2010What is the point of parents if not to blame them? Surely this is my role in life as both a a daughter and a parent? am confused. does not compute.
Chic Mama
February 24, 2010I keep looking at my nose for signs of serious damage….I can still ‘feel’ the pain of my chest that was completely covered in blisters after a day in the sun …
It’s amazing the freedom we had then, now everyone is on tenderhooks worrying about what ‘may’ possibly happen.
Crystal Jigsaw
February 24, 2010Blimey, seems like you had a ball throughout your childhood!! I get blamed for everything in this house, I doubt it’ll change now.
CJ xx
allie
February 25, 2010You are hysterical! Thanks for early morning belly laughs.
Working Mum
February 25, 2010Of course you’ll blame your parents. We all know a mother’s place is in the wrong! I have a terrible feeling they are going to blame us for app dependency!
stop a divorce
May 23, 2011Nice Posts. I have bookmarked your site.