A strange thing has happened to my fridge since my teenage son has left the building – when I open it there is still food in it. Quite a lot actually. It keeps making me jump.
We are settling into our new, calmer existence – not that my firstborn was in any way the instigator of stress, its just that one less makes a difference. Not only in terms of the dynamics, but in terms of the space in the house, the stuff on the floor, the amount of washing, the stuff I have to do….everything really. Don’t get me wrong, I do miss him BUT GIVEN THAT HE ISN’T MISSING US AT ALL I REALLY DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH TELLING IT LIKE IT IS.
Anything that was still moving has now been removed from his room. My youngest son is slowly bringing up his bits and pieces. So we’ll see how that goes come the Christmas holidays….
Although to be honest, our calmer existence isn’t just due to having one less child to worry about – it’s because my youngest son has changed schools and he is so much happier – there is a tangible difference in his approach to life. It isn’t until you get to the point that you have to do something significant to change what is happening – either at their school or regarding the issue troubling them that you realise quite how unhappy they really were.
He is now at a local state school with lots of his old mates from his former primary school. He leaves the house at 7.10am and takes several buses with his friends to school. I went to his first parents evening on Thursday – just an introduction and a reminder of some helpful tips to help them with homework and so on and how to engage etc. One teacher suggested that instead of asking them what they did at school that day which never gets much response, ask them what they learnt at school.
GREAT. I thought. I’ll definitely try that.
Possibly need to give it another try NOT on a Friday night when he doesn’t actually want to talk to me at all – let along about what he learnt at school.
“How was your day??”
Good.
“What did you learn today?
Not much
“Really? Surely you did? What subjects did you do today?
I can’t remember
“You can’t remember which subjects you did? Really? Do I need to look at your timetable?
UM, we did History
So what did you learn in History?
We’ve started a new topic.
GREAT! What’s the new topic?
Can’t remember….
and so on. AAAAGH.
janelle
October 7, 2012heh he…YES…that’s the way the cookie crumbles…it’s pointless asking. i wait for them to say first. and if they don’t i pin them to the wall and tell them aaaaaaaaaaaaaall about my day and me…that usually snaps them out of this ridiculousness. or i trade secrets: i’ll tell you about mr xyz but its top secret only if you tell me who was caught smoking by the pool.,,and what ms b said in history today…finding the same with rubin away..there is always food in the fridge. first born never ate much anyway, from a baby. how he grew remains a mystery. much love xxx