Bloody hell. It has taken all day to go to about three estate agents with my mother. I am going to have to let her go into the next one on her own. I can’t cope.
She is looking to move, although only vaguely at this stage. So, we are beginning to work out the start of a plan. Mostly ruling out where she doesn’t want to live.
So we walk in and somebody comes to talk to us. “Hi, can I help you?” they say. “Yes please” I say “my mother is looking for a small flat with parking and two bedrooms in this price range in this area. Do you have anything?”
Thats it. Then we don’t really need to engage in any further conversation. We just need to get the details and go. But no. My mother can’t resist getting involved – which is perfectly reasonable of course because it’s for her, but honestly, I don’t think she gives much thought to the fact life has dramatically changed and nobody has time for small talk anymore because we are all just too busy. Or. Is it just me? Am I turning into a grumpy old cow? She’s been staying for the last week and every day she potters in from the shop to get her paper having had a long chat with somebody in my road who I have (at best) never spoken to in my life or (at worst) have never seen or heard of.
So my eyes are saying to the estate agent “run away now! As fast as you can” but they don’t and off she goes. “Yes, a small flat would be good, although I have to sell something first somewhere else to buy it and of course it has much higher ceilings than you would get here so I’d probably have to put everything in storage so can you add that I really need a lot of storage space because it’s just me now, my dear husband died last year and so I think I’m going to move but haven’t really decided where to and of course because we lived in Hong Kong for years and had a balcony I’d like to live in a flat which is probably going to be all that I can afford anyway, but I’d like to be able to go and see friends and have friends come and see me – I mean where I live now was built in 1750 I should think and was divided up into flats a long time ago and when we bought it it was only meant to be a stop gap”….
and the estate agent is nodding and I’m thinking of asking whether he has got any wine for me to drink….
“and of course, because I have 17 titanium screws in my back I can’t really be in something that has too many stairs but nevertheless I want to be in a community rather than a place for just old people because I used to live around this area and went to school nearby – although there weren’t so many buses so it took ages but then we moved away – my father had a house round here that he bought for £5K and now it’s probably worth £3m and how ridiculous that he moved away all those years ago because he thought there were too many cars and my husband used to say….
“now, regarding the sort of people who might buy my house, it will either be a newly retired couple or a family who want a bolt hole away from London and also what do you think, my daughter thinks I should put the house on the market in the Spring, but my view is that it’s much better to sell it in the winter when it doesn’t look it’s best because imagine then how gorgeous it’s going to be with the sun out, my daughter put her moustache on and has suggested….bla”
Estate agent is now looking a little bit slumped, but she hasn’t even started yet…and so it goes on, for about another 30 minutes of chat – to be honest, he’s quite into the whole thing now. She’s properly engaged him and he makes sympathetic noises regularly. So. Perhaps its a good way to connect with people. Back to good old fashioned chatting over a length of time. I’ve never been very good at that. I just don’t feel the need to talk to every random stranger – oh except on the internet of course – I do that every day!
I wonder if it’s a problem that we have lost our ability/desire to engage with our local community? Or should I get my mother sectioned before she moves next to me because she is completely mad?
Expat Mum
November 14, 2011Oh small talk is alive and well in our house. The 8 year old has no filter. Actually, when he starts on like this with complete strangers, I look at them slightly pityingly and say “Ahhh, you made eye contact didn’t you?”.
Family Affairs
November 14, 2011Yes, eye contact always a mistake. Lx
Eclipse
November 14, 2011She sounds like my gran, lovely but veeeeerrrry chatty. I have to schedule at least 45mins when I talk with her because I get to hear about the entire family and the next door neighbour….
Anna
November 14, 2011Small talk is very important, I think. It helps us feel connected to other people, which, in turn, is good for mental health, not to mention for business. Of course, I am bad at it, but my husband is a chatterbox. My sister and I used to roll our eyes, because he stops and gets stopped almost everywhere he goes. I’ve come to appreciate it, though. The fact that everybody in our complex knew Jeremy meant that they knew me and my son. It definitely made me feel safer. When people know you, there are more likely to watch out for you. If we needed something done by the management, it was done right away. We recently moved and everybody back at the old place already misses him.
Family Affairs
November 14, 2011Aaaah. That’s lovely and it’s obviously a trait in the genes their side of the family!! Think D was the same Lx
Crystal Jigsaw
November 15, 2011This post so reminds me of my own mum! No matter where we go she always gets into a conversation with someone she doesn’t know and they end up telling each other their life stories. I do hope I don’t turn into my mother, lol.
CJ xx
Family Affairs
November 15, 2011Ha ha but don’t you think we have both turned into our mothers online!! Lx
Lynda
November 16, 2011Years ago I made the mistake of grabbing the window seat and leaving my husband in the middle between an elderly woman and myself. Before we took off he knew why she was in Perth(brother’s funeral) what he died of, how lovely the service was and on and on. She also knew why we were we in Perth, the sights we had seen and on and on.They were both talkers. All I wanted to do was have 5 uninterrupted hours of reading! Now I always sit in the middle – it’s quieter!
Family Affairs
November 16, 2011Yes, I’ve given up speaking to strangers on planes….hmmm