HOLIDAY DIARY

LAST DAY! ALREADY. We’ve only just arrived. I have smothered my unused trainers and put them back into the suitcase.

All week I have been deeply regretting my daughter’s advice to buy a La Sensa push up bikini with so much padding it’s actually given me a cleavage which is unheard of. This of course, whilst being aware that I am too old to wear a bikini but don’t really care IS GREAT – I LOVE HAVING A CLEAVAGE. But today I am wearing a different bikini. An older, less dishonest bikini – a flat as a pancake sort of honest bikini. With no padding. I honestly look like my boob job of yesterday has been stolen in the night. I have no bosoms beside the pool today at all. Never mind. Nobody noticing me anyway. Still wearing anorak of invisibility and GUESS WHAT? Turns out that two of the single dad’s are a gay couple, which at least explains their complete lack of interest! (joke).

None of us want to leave. Daughter says she’s had “the best holiday ever”. We’ve all had a brilliant time for different reasons and I’ve now finished “Freedom” by Jonathan Franzen which I loved. Such a luxury – even if I do have a book shaped tan to go home with.

Daughter appears to have spent the day hugging and crying with all her new best friends. Where are all mine? This is the first holiday I have had since I”ve been divorced with only my children on my own – without being with other friends and/or family and it’s been a huge success. It’s made me feel a bit braver. Of course I had a few brief wild fluctuations – going from feeling deliriously happy and smug over dinner about having such a fun time with my children whilst other couples on other tables looked miserable….to then the next day feeling completely the opposite – sorry for myself and jealous of everyone around me. Pathetic. But understandable I guess.

I talked to my mother. Told her about not speaking to anyone new and how it was fine, for the first time in my life I wasn’t in dire need of friends and she said “Finally….you are growing up”. I’m not sure though. Is that a sign of maturity? I don’t want to turn into a grumpy old person who can’t be arsed to talk to strangers. It’s good to get a balance. But, on this occasion a period of quiet reflection was just what the doctor ordered.