I LOVE MIDDLE AGED WOMEN AND INDIA KNIGHT

A walk in the park.

Not always as simple as it sounds – especially when worried about getting gored by a very loud stag every time you turn a corner. However, nothing better as a restorative tonic after a stressful week, especially when you add a couple of friends into the mix, together with a little bit of glorious sunshine on a slowly turning Autumnal scene. Lots going on for all of us – but the prize for “Biggest Drama Of The Week” goes to my brother, who thought for a minute that he might not only lose his unborn child, but also his wife during the massively traumatic birth of their second child. I’m thrilled however to report that they are now, just 7 days later, all doing remarkably well and as we all wandered and wondered around the park this morning I was just so very very thankful for that.

Look how tiny he is:-

As we walked and talked through all our problems and shared our thoughts, concerns and advice and admired the view:-

I was once again struck by how lucky we are to have good friends to offer us support and help when needed. I’m not sure I agree with the “Ask-hole” approach to life – that new term (or at least one that I’ve only recently come across) that refers to those friends you are advised to dump because they only want to talk about themselves – especially when they’ve finished a relationship and are traumatised. They tend to ask your advice and then not take it. However, we’ve all been there. I’m just glad my friends didn’t give up on me because I was certainly that person for a while. However, persevere and generally they get a “pay back” moment at some point or other in life when you need to be there for them.

It feels like we’re all dealing with big stuff at the moment – a large number of us have been trying to manage the death of our marriage for whatever reason and having to change our lives, readjust our aspirations, jobs, expectations, as well as try and look after our childrens’ needs too. I don’t think any of us would have been able to get through this bit of our life without our friends support – and yes, of course sometimes it’s one of us requiring more attention than another, but that’s life isn’t it?

Never give up on your friends. We will only successfully get through this period of our lives with lots of friends providing wine and laughter along the way and especially make sure you hang out with those friends who manage, through it all, to not be bitter and to always see a funny side. It’s how you deal with life that counts, not what’s actually going on.

Respect.

You know who you are….

Also, loving India Knight’s column in The Sunday Times today where she is reviewing the new Bridget Jones’ Diary and disagreeing with the image of her as a sad, 50 something widow with a very young toyboy.

She was arguing that middle aged women shouldn’t be depicted like that anymore – here is her list of what middle-aged women* like doing and although I don’t do all those things (well if I’m honest don’t have the option for several of them – point 2 mostly), I can certainly recognise most and it says just about everything we need to say about how all the women I know, even those going through hellishly bad times, simply come out stronger and happier and more appreciative of the world and all it has to offer each and every time they get knocked down.

“laughing, having sex, eating, doing crosswords, gardening, listening to Radio 4 and 6 Music, having kitchen discos, staying in, going out, cooking, ordering takeaways, getting crazily drunk, drinking lots of water, buying clothes, slobbing about in jogging bottoms, behaving well, behaving badly, gossiping, reading trash, reading improving books, going to yoga, hanging out with their friends and screaming with laughter — at the triumphs and the failures of their lives”.

You should read the rest of her article – it’s great:-http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/comment/columns/indiaknight/article1323392.ece

* Would just like to point out that I am not yet a middle-aged woman. Not that long to go admittedly, but still. Just felt I ought to clarify. Neither are lots two of my friends.