Oh dear. Not a very good start to my youngest child’s half term holiday. As I mentioned we had to cancel our original plans owing to a sick child. After much deliberation, we decided to head to the local swimming pool. My worst nightmare. Snot and plasters and verruca germs. Yuk. En route, my 7 year old was rude to me about various irrelevant issues and so I gave him a warning…”if you’re rude to me again we’re turning round and going home”. He was. Hooray. Result. We came home. He was furious. He shouted all the way home, which meant he had to spend quite a lot of time in his room, before we could talk properly.
He can get very angry and when he’s like that he blames me for everything. “IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT THAT I’VE GOT SUCH A BAD LIFE. YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT. SPLIT UP WITH DADDY. YOU DID THAT BEFORE I WAS EVEN FOUR AND I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER”….It’s really sad and of course all I want to do in the heat of the moment is shout back that it is not ALL my fault..but of course, I don’t. He’s not old enough and I’d like to think that on occasion, when it’s important, I can be quite grown up really.
Once he’d calmed down, I told him that I was not going to put up with him arguing with me. That it was unacceptable to be shouting at his mother – “why didn’t you tell me that four year’s ago?” he said. “I didn’t know that. I’ll never do it again”. We talked about what he’d said and I told him that I understood that he felt sad about the two of us splitting up, but that our situation was complicated and that he was too young to really understand. “OK, I might be too young to understand, but I’m not too young for you to tell me whether Father Christmas is real or not and while you’re at it, what about the tooth fairy?”.
DMM
February 19, 2008HUGS…I am waiting for that day, instead my 4 year old said to me, “mommy you always leave me.”
A knife thru the heart.
It’ll get easier…I think…
HUGS HUGS HUGS
zoe
February 20, 2008It does get easier – my son was trying to persuade me to get back together with his dad but that was a big no-no and would have been a terrible mistake.
Kids grow up and adjust to life and finally, they understand.
xxx
GoneBackSouth
February 20, 2008You’re doing the right thing by being firm but sympathetic too. It’s good that he can tell you how feels instead of bottling it up. p.s. I also hate taking the kids swimming!!!
family affairs
February 20, 2008I hope it does get easier…and that one day he’ll understand…thanks for the support x