“I’ve had the best week of my life” my son has just said and I can concur with that. It was so good that I wish we could do it all over again, maybe in slow motion. My son got married last Friday to his best friend and love of his life and it couldn’t have been a more love filled event.
I’ve got to be honest, it was a long time coming. They’d met at university, thirteen years ago, so we’d all been waiting a long time for the big proposal. They then spent a year meticulously planning every detail together and curated it just perfectly for each other. I love how weddings today are so much more just about what the couple want – back in our day, it was all about what the parents wanted and I recall a myriad of faces at my wedding that I barely recognised. The modern way means that they were in charge and could invite who they wanted, so that they could enjoy it their way.
They chose to divide it up over three days. Day 1 was just family for the formal service at a beautiful Registry Office (fifty of us!) followed by a lovely meal in the private room of a nearby pub. Day 2 was at a private venue in Hackney where they threw a massive party for all of their friends and Day 3 was my son’s birthday, so they hosted another, slightly more chilled event in a pub. I can’t tell you how much my heart was bursting with joy to watch my firstborn get married. We all love his new wife and whilst I know this is a cliché – recently, when one of my clients asked me whether I felt as if I was about to lose my son, I told her that it was quite the opposite…that I was about to gain a daughter.
The night before the wedding he stayed with me and it was just the four of us for his “last supper” as a “free” man. Just like it was back in the day when they still all three of my kids still lived at home and we ate together every night. He was calm and composed and so ready for the commitment. The morning of the wedding was lovely – all of us getting ready excitedly and toasting him with a glass of champagne before he set off with his younger brother – who he chose to be his best man to have a traditional pint in the pub before the service.
My daughter went to join the bride-to-be to get ready with her and then we all met at the venue. Here are my two boys waiting for the bride to arrive:-
The service was very personal to them and we even sang an Elvis Presley song – “I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You” – which was their nod to their shared love of Sunderland AFC – often nicknamed “Wise Men Say”, it’s a beloved anthem sung by players and fans, especially during celebrations and at the Stadium of Light. My daughter wrote her own poem for them which was truly beautiful and her sister chose a meaningful poem. Her mother and I witnessed the signing of the register (he got my middle names wrong initially!) and then after choosing James Blunt’s “Bonfire Heart” to leave the service to (“Well today is our turn. Days like these lead to nights like this, lead to love like ours. You light the spark in my bonfire heart. People like us, we don’t need that much, just someone that starts, starts the spark in our bonfire hearts…” – just love that sentiment) we wandered out into the grounds into the bright sunshine to toast them as a newly married couple and have the photos taken.
THEN a big red London bus arrived to take us to our pub venue. Complete with no door, a conductor handing out tickets and the wire you could pull to stop the bus, just as I remembered from back in the day. The one mishap of the day was that the registrar crashed into the stationary bus as she left the venue, so we were delayed in leaving whilst they exchanged details. Such a fun journey, singing and dancing in the bus from Twickenham to Barnes, drinking cans of gin and tonics.
The private room upstairs in the pub was beautifully decorated with two long tables and I had the privilege of sitting between my two sons. The speeches were brilliant. My fellow Mother-In-Law started them off and spoke very movingly about her daughter and the merging of the two Northern and Southern families. Then my son followed on and was very emotional when talking about his new wife – he surprised himself, let alone all of us. I told my new daughter-in-law it was because he loved her more than he loved himself. My younger son did a brilliant best man’s speech, incredibly moving and mainly all about family, with of course a few funny anecdotes included. My role at the wedding was simply to be the very proud mother/mother-in-law and to enjoy the proceedings. I did think I might be asked to do the flowers (given that I was briefly a florist back in the day) but they’ve seen a few of my flower arrangements and suspect they decided it would be infinitely better to give the job to a far more able family friend. It of course meant that I had no stress whatsoever. After our excellent meal and the cutting of the cake (which my daughter made) the tables were pushed aside and we danced. It was lovely to meet so many members of her family and to have such a happy shared interest in the two of them.
I was reunited with a lot of the family members from my ex-husband’s side who I haven’t really seen since we divorced and it was so lovely to see them all again. It’s a happy reminder that time really is a healer, as there was no way we could have envisaged us all being happily in the same room together a decade ago. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to know that marriage is still something they want, after the shitshow they went through back in the day.
The party they hosted on the Saturday night was a triumph. They both did another speech to each other – he mentioned trying to always remember to look at the world through her lens – just always positive and upbeat. The whole evening was full of love and laughter. They hired a magician and a photo booth and had dancing as well. From there we all went off to a local pub that had a 3am licence for more dancing and general silliness.
The pub event the next day was a more muted affair, understandably, but lovely to see everyone again and go over all the wonderful memories from the days before.
I then had three days to get ready for Christmas and the thirteen people I was hosting. To be honest I’ve never been more organised in my life. My children couldn’t believe that not only was the tree up and decorated, but all the presents had been wrapped before the wedding. But more of that later! This is just my wedding post to go into the memory bank!
