ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK

So, here is the story of my son’s “One Night In Bangkok” experience as told by him. Terrifying. THANK GOD I didn’t know. Do you think it might have been a set-up?(or is that just wishful thinking as a mother):-

“After a 12 hour flight from Melbourne, full of excitement and nerves, leading up to a night I had been looking forward to for a LONG time, I arrived at BKK airport at 10pm and met my friend who had arrived an hour before me from London.

A 30 minute cab into the city, and 400 baht down already, brought us to our first hostel in Asia – WE Bangkok. Lovely hostel, friendly staff, relatively cheap, rooftop bar and great atmosphere – all put us in a good frame of mind for our big first night in Asia.

We had some drinks on our rooftop bar and our first “bucket”. The bucket, one of Asia’s most utilised pieces of drinking equipment, is deadly. Not only is it much larger than just your standard glass in England, but if you make sure you ask for it ‘strong’, they are not going to hold back.

A group of around 30 of us, quickly came to the decision that one of the main things to see in Bangkok during the evenings are the infamous “Ping Pong” shows. I had been debriefed by my uncle and various other people on what goes on during these shows so I sort of knew what to expect and thought to myself, while I’m here, I HAVE to do it.

So off to Patpong Rd we went (Bangkok’s red light district) where we were immediately subjected to Thai people offering us Ping Pong shows by a quite unique popping noise they made from their mouths. We were dragged into a dingy bar and were given a good deal, which was free entry as long as we bought one drink. My first Chang beer in Asia was in this bar and there is a traveller’s myth about Chang. All over Asia, people talk about how Chang is brewed differently in certain places. On the bottle, it says its 6.4% which is already an extremely strong lager but the myth is, the percentage can range from 4-12% depending on how it has been brewed. Now in my case, in this dingy little bar on Patpong Rd, my first Chang beer was most certainly a 12 per center.

I won’t go into details about what goes on during these shows, but let’s just say, the female genitalia can do a LOT more than I thought it could. I was even given a table tennis bat and rallied with a woman which was quite the experience….

After a few more Changs and some more bizarre talents being shown off, our group decided to head to Koh San Rd, the main backpackers road with bright lights, a billion tuk tuks, market stalls, food stalls, clubs, bars and ‘cheap cheap’ buckets:-

It is fair to say that my memory from this point in the evening is partially blurred but one event that took place that I will never forget happened on my first night out in Bangkok. The one piece of advice my mum gave me before I left on my travels was, ‘Do NOT under any circumstances get involved with the police..!’ A completely fair and understandable ask from my mother and something which I thought was going to be easy to follow.

After a few more bars and a trip to ‘The Club’ we stumbled back out onto Koh San Rd and were looking to head home. Now this part of the night I completely remember…two Argentinian blokes, mid twenties, fairly small decided to try and start a fight with my friend and I. Now my friend, who is a big guy and loses his cool quite easily handled the situation extremely well..up to a certain point, where we were both provoked too much and a fight broke out on the middle of Koh San Rd. This fight didn’t last too long and was an extremely one sided affair but my night changed dramatically when as I was walking off from the scene, a policeman appeared from nowhere and handcuffed me.

Suddenly I was on the back of a moped and the next thing I knew was in a holding cell in the police station at the top of Koh San Rd. I was in the cell with a man who had been there four years, quite a few others and the two Argentinians who had provoked the fight. Not a good start, to my adventure from any perspective.

I got lucky. For some reason my friend wasn’t arrested and even more luckily a Thai woman had seen what had happened and how much we had been provoked came with my mate to the police station to argue my case.

After at least 3 hours in the holding cell when I hadn’t a clue what to do or what was going to happen, a Thai police officer came and fetched me and blurted out in extremely good English, ‘You pay now!’ and off I was again on the moped to a cash point and exchanged 7500 baht (150 pounds) for my freedom.

Many lessons had been learnt that night in Bangkok:

Don’t ask for ALL your buckets to be ‘strong’.
Try not to get a 12% Chang every time.
Do NOT fight on Koh San Rd.
Always cover your beer in a Ping Pong show……
Try not to miss your flight to Chiang Mai in the morning!