I AM NOT HAVING A VERY GOOD DAY. I have taught four different groups of women today – one was a private session with a woman with MS and she is truly amazing but I’ve hurt my back moving her immobile limbs about. I have driven my children around endlessly, dealt with youngest son’s trauma of having to wear a girl’s tracksuit all day, dealt with my daughter’s trauma of thinking she was going to get her braces off and then only the bottom ones were removed, dealt with three annoying children all winding each other up over our meal and complaining about my food until I was feeling more domestic troll than domestic goddess and they were discussing rubbish like:-
“What do you mean you can’t eat that advent calender chocolate mum made for you because it’s got bubbles in? That’s so rude – it took her ages”
“I don’t like bubbles in chocolate”
“You can’t taste bubbles in chocolate, you idiot, they’re just air. Air doesn’t taste of anything”
“It’s not how it tastes, it’s how it feels in my mouth. I don’t like the texture”.
“You like Aero’s”
“No I don’t”
“You like mint Aero’s”
“NO I DON”T”
“Well you did”
“Well, I don’t anymore”
(abbreviated version, won’t bore you with that bit)
“Anyway, that advent calender chocolate doesn’t actually have bubbles, it’s just got little holes where the chocolate isn’t”
“THAT’S THE SAME AS A BUBBLE YOU MINGER”
“Well, it’s not bubble shaped”
And so on….
I’m finding all the ex husband’s wedding talk difficult. When you are dealing with a situation, you just have to get on with it. It’s like any sort of trauma or illness. There are not a lot of alternative options. You just have to keep going. I have no option but to distance myself and move on. I will not be able to escape completely. I will have to talk about the upcoming wedding with my children. That will be hard enough. I can’t even begin to think what else will be round the corner. “I hope everyone will be happy” I told her, “my ex, my children and Builder Bloke’s children” – it’s much better to think like that instead of wanting to run everybody over.
Last night, my oldest son needed to stay at his dad’s to revise for his driving theory test and therefore my youngest child wanted to go to – which was completely fine – he doesn’t see enough of his dad. I was going out for dinner with my dad (his first excursion back to London on his own after his major operation and post operation infection) and therefore told my son that it was fine for him to stay but could he ask his father to pick him up.
Father subsequently rang and we had a petty argument about who was going to pick up when. My new philosophy, which is clearly immensely annoying is to hang up if we’re arguing. I simply don’t want to argue with him anymore. I don’t argue with anyone else on the planet. It’s unpleasant. But hanging up is also not the answer.
London Dad
January 15, 2010Six years?….time to heal some of those wounds
Mud
January 15, 2010Phew. Time to breathe. Ex is being a complete prat. Can you close your eyes and go back to thinking about nice 6 packs for a little while?
xx
Family Affairs
January 15, 2010OK. Six pax. SIx Pax. Six Pax. Breathe. SIx Pax Six pax….breathe…..yup. its working. Good mantra. Thanks mud Lx
Tim aka Dotterel
January 15, 2010What London dad said!
Family Affairs
January 16, 2010Thanks and I agree – but just to clarify – only been divorced two years, the six years he was referring to was when I found out about the affair Lx
London Dad
January 15, 2010I know how you can cheer yourself up. Go to http://www.google.com and type “is it wrong”. Some interesting suggestions.
Family Affairs
January 15, 2010Not sure that makes me feel a whole lot better….although I guess it suggests things could be a lot worse – at least I’m not sleeping with my father – or my brother, or one of my children!! Lx
janelle
January 15, 2010yeah. crap. sorry darlin’….XXX j
Meriel
January 15, 2010I popped over from Allie
“When you are dealing with a situation, you just have to get on with it…….it’s much better to think like that instead of wanting to run everybody over.”
oh my word i have felt like that 100 times. May I reference you blog from mine please.
Family Affairs
January 15, 2010Lovely – of course, please do and thanks for popping over xx
Laura
January 15, 2010It sounds positively shitty.
I’m sorry you’ve had a rubbish day and I hope that today is better for you.
…and you are not making me feel any better about my 3 and 5 year old’s arguing every morning at the breakfast table. I want it to end, it doesn’t look like it will!
Family Affairs
January 15, 2010Thanks darling and sorry, no, mealtimes do simply not get better!! Lx
stigmum
January 15, 2010Your post made me laugh. I’m pretty sure you weren’t laughing when you wrote it and I am guessing I’m finding your experience funny because I can’t damn well find my own one hilarious. So thank you, very much. Found you quite by accident on rosie scribbles blog. I totally understand how you feel and will not piss you off by telling you to forgive him!Lashings of good luck mamma x
Family Affairs
January 16, 2010Thanks stigmum and welcome! Glad you found me x
Jon Storey
January 15, 20101. Not a bad day for a Troll!
2. Tell the little buggers to make their own dinner, it does work although they do lose a lot of weight in the process!
3. Prat! Time he grew up…..
Family Affairs
January 16, 2010No, maybe as troll days go – it’s not too bad and thanks, Lx
Muddling Along Mummy
January 15, 2010That’s pants – hope that things get better
Expat Mum
January 15, 2010I know this probably isn’t what I should be telling you but, – glean some satisfaction from the fact that Builder Bloke’s ex has totally stitched up your ex. As I’ve said all along, I’ll give it about two years tops, and I’ve been suspicious for a while that she planned the whole thing before she even clapped eyes on him.
Family Affairs
January 16, 2010Thanks EM – yes, you’re right and you know the history….Lx
Joanna Cake
January 15, 2010And breathe!!
Can I suggest yoga? It has helped me to become calm since I separated from my Husband earlier this year. Or maybe Im just calm because I did separate from him and yoga is just a nice way of helping to stay that way…?
London Dad
January 16, 2010Joanna Cake, nice picture. I think you should auction your phone number for charity.
Family Affairs
January 16, 2010Shit – how did I not notice that picture? Had to go into comments that already posted – do you think I should try and have a byline picture like that – don’t answer that question – anything to keep my male readers happy Lx
Vegemitevix
January 16, 2010So been there done that. Sorry you’re feeling like shite. Probably doesn’t help but the conversation sounds like one in our house (kids back today! Yay, I think?) and the ex used to constantly say I’d pushed him around. I like to think it was a psychological projection device to cover his bullying. Nonce! HIM, not you. Hope today’s better!! Vx
Family Affairs
January 16, 2010Thanks Vege – will try and remember that and yes, hoping today is better L x
TheBlonde
January 16, 2010God what an idiot. Lets hope he gets his comeuppence with BBs Ex…
(Just found your new Blog site!)
x
Family Affairs
January 16, 2010Great you found me – thanks for commenting – yes, I agree – I want that bottom x
TheBlonde
January 16, 2010PS I’m definitely taking up Yoga if it’ll give me a bottom like Joanna’s!!!
Helen P
January 16, 2010Good grief, your ex sounds remarkably similar to mine. I am getting a spate of self righteous emails at the moment and they are worded in a very similar way to that text! Just starting divorce proceedings here and while he has agreed we need to do it, I think I have rattled his cage a bit by standing up for myself this past week.
Totally agree with what you say about moving on and hoping everyone is happy instead of wanting to run them all over. It’s the only way to not turn into a resentful, miserable git (that’s what I keep telling myself anyway!).
Thinking of you. x
Family Affairs
January 17, 2010Thanks and keep strong – not easy but keep standing up for yourself – it’s important L x
Di Foden
January 17, 2010I think they do that blaming you thing when they’ve had an affair because the weight of guilt is so great they have to get themselves out from under it by making it your fault. My ex did exactly the same thing to me. I was gobsmacked because he’d always been such a nice man, and because of that I started to believe him. Result.
But I’m better now. I think.
Kay
May 2, 2010hi i have been reading your blog from the beginning (its taken a while ;-)) as my husband has just left me and was gonna wait untill i got up to date before commenting so i don’t seem like a stalker (don’t worry im not a stalker) but your ex’s txt made me wonna scream!!!
why do all men do that??? that is exactly the same thing my ex has been saying to me and saying that is why he left and why our marriage broke down (not his lies and smoking weed)
why do men insist on blaming other people for their mistakes
aagh! sorry for the rant
kay x
sorry
Family Affairs
May 4, 2010I’m so sorry to hear that Kay and thanks for leaving a comment. Let me know how you are getting on Lx
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