SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS

My mother seems to be making remarkable progress.  She’s still in a lot of pain and there is a wound mark all the way up her back, but she’s been standing up and so far she doesn’t seem to have the excruciating nerve pain that she had all the time pre op.  My father and I have had a good week together and it’s amazing to see his progress too from such a huge operation for bowel cancer that he had last September – he’s finally putting the weight back on and not looking quite so gaunt.

So.  All good this year already.  Parents hopefully on the mend for a few more decades and I am finally removed from the trauma of last year’s immense stress.  My role as a cougar is developing nicely too….

All I need to do now is to encourage my parents to move out of their flat and into something with a little more space because frankly at my age it is not right that I have to sleep in the same room as my brothers.  We are not children anymore and grown-up siblings are simply revolting to sleep with.

I spent the first two nights sleeping with my younger brother (not literally you understand) in single beds.  He complained that I snored all night long.  Well.  So did he.

Last night other brother arrived – a bit pissed off the train, but on very good form.  Two bottles of wine later and we were both talking bollocks as per usual.  I went to bed in the hope that he would simply pass out on the sofa.  He looked like he was doing a hamsterish thing and making a nest, but sadly not.  I told him which bed I was in, but clearly that information didn’t register because not long afterwards he sat on me.  It took him quite a long time to work out what was going on.  Find the right bed.  Go to sleep.

But then.  Even with TWO ear plugs wedged into each ear and a pillow sandwiching my head I couldn’t make the noise go away.  HOW DOES MY SISTER-IN-LAW COPE?  Even worse is that after about 10 snores he suddenly stops.  Nothing.  No noise.  No breath at all.  So all night long I found myself either willing him to breathe again or wanting to bloody smother him.  Rubbish.

Too old for this sort of thing.  He’s very perky this morning.  I. Am. Not.