There’s a thing that happens to teenage girls with regard to sport. There they all are growing up, doing really well with ballet and gymnastics and athletics and horse riding and hockey and netball and tennis and running, jumping, skipping, dancing and then suddenly, just like that, the majority of them stop.
Why is that? I obviously stopped because my parents never came to watch me do anything and I lost interest, but that is clearly an unreasonable attitude because parents today over-watch their children do everything and they are still giving up.
I suspect that female adolescents give up serious sport for a number of different reasons including:-
They get bored.
They would prefer to do other things – like meet friends, shop, talk.
They are not wanting to play such competitive games as boys and most of the stuff they have to do at school is either team sports or highly competitive.
They become painfully conscious of their bodies and get a bit shy and embarrassed.
They do not want to be told what to do.
They do not all have a burning desire to “win”.
To many parents teenage daughters can become an unfathomable mystery – particularly to their fathers who often feel as if they live in a parallel universe. That I suspect, is because the male take on the matter is “NEVER GIVE UP”, “WHERE IS YOUR COMPETITIVE SPIRIT?” “WHY DON’T YOU WANT TO TRY YOUR HARDEST?”. My daughter gets very upset because she has to defend herself against her father AND her brother over reasons why she didn’t want to carry on with yet another sporting activity that she was good at. In her case she has so far given up: ballet, dance, horse-riding, swimming, running and rowing. An impressive list of “been there, done that’s” for a 13 year old I suspect.
Anyway. So what can be done? This is a tricky time for lots of reasons and their weight tends to naturally increase. So it’s important to find a way round it.
Yesterday when I was discussing the issue with my friends, another point was raised that I hadn’t really thought about and actually it is probably the biggest barrier for the teenage girl. Hormones. I so remember feeling rubbish every month. Grumpy, sore breasts, stomach ache. Large sanitary pads and small stretchy PE shorts don’t work well together. Neither do swimming costumes and lessons and the worry of leakage. Try running when everything hurts.
The classes I am running with 6 mothers and their teenage daughters are in fact going very well. The environment is very non-threatening. They get to see their friends. We get to enjoy some time together and slowly we are improving their fitness. Perhaps there should be more of this sort of thing on offer.
I think schools should try and introduce some different sports. Kick boxing for example. That would make them incredibly fit and strong and would help with self-defence. My daughter wants to try boxing next. I can’t find anywhere locally to do it.
I don’t think their needs are being properly addressed.
Working mum
April 21, 2009You are right. I gave up almost all forms of exercise in senior school because the sadistic PE teachers didn’t understand that teenage girls need different types of exercise. I was a keen badminton player in junior school, playing for my school, but in senior school they didn’t teach badminton skills and technique in badminton club, just shuttle runs and running round the court trying to hit a shuttlecock on either side – I soon gave up.
Also, I still have nightmares about being made to do hockey in a gym skirt in the snow! Yes, really; my legs were red raw with cold.
However, I did enjoy the aerobics classes my friend’s mum did (sound familiar?). If only schools offered more than all that competitive team game stuff to exercising to music, and generally keeping fit and healthy, more teenage girls would stay fitter.
Sorry for the tome; you hit a raw nerve there!
notSupermum
April 21, 2009Oh yes, I remember trying to skip PE when I was in secondary school even though I enjoyed it but some of the ‘cooler’ girls didn’t like doing it so the rest of us tried to follow suit.
My 12 year old daughter is extremely sporty and plays football for the school team, swims really well and also plays netball. I hope she sticks with it unlike her mum!
Expat mum
April 21, 2009I agree. The Queenager spent from 3-10 years old dancing, then had to stop because she hurt her knee. She decided not to continue with ballet but moved on to jazz and hip hop. Unfortunately, most of the schools here insist on about four times per week, which is too much. She is now at that age where she’s too old for teen classes (most of the kids are about 13) and they won’t let her take an adult class till she’s 18.
However, at school she has to do gym three times a week till she graduates at 18 🙂
louise
November 4, 2014I’m confused, I havea 14 year old daughter who played state representative hockey for 2 years and then dropped out didin’t like that. Then I suggested she play soccer as she was pasionaet to be a goal keeper. Eventually found a good team,lub provided extra goal keepeer training, which she would not attend although she loved being the goal keeper. Noe sher is playing futsal as goal keeper and is quite happy not playing on the field in a really good team and not getting that many touches. No exercise advantage here. She has so much athletic potential has tested extremly high in rowing and has won well in mnay school competition races and now wants to drop out of that, leaving her in no sport other than the goal keeper infutsal. I don’t understand and find this hard and such a waste and more particulay worry about her motivation in future with life in general or am I totally wrong?
Family Affairs
November 5, 2014I had the same issue when my son was goal-keeper as it seems so sedentary compared to the others -but they train with the team and are vitally important so they do still get the exercise and certainly the team spirit moving forward. Great she’s found something she loves! Lx