I spoke to my mother earlier today. Told her I was taking my teenage son out for dinner because it was his final exam tomorrow and that I suspected, after that, I would never see him again. “Oh, don’t be ridiculous” she said, “don’t you worry, you can never bloody get rid of your children – they always come back – look at me!” and I wondered whether that was meant to reassure me or make me feel rubbish.

Anyway. Back now. Full of pizza. I did try to use the opportunity to do a bit of gentle advising about how much drinking they are all likely to be doing post exams and about how it might be an idea to take his pub crawl (starting at 10.30am tomorrow morning after his Chemistry exam) gently – I tried to suggest things he could drink in the 10 pubs they are going to that wouldn’t contribute to a major mess later on in the day. But it’s hopeless I fear. I tried to advise him about the rest of his holiday. About how careful he needs to be on his scary mass European holiday with up to 40 mates all congregating in one place where I assume that they will be worse company and a greater liability than that many men on a stag night. It just doesn’t bear thinking about.

So youngest son changed the subject for us. Talked about his recent lesson in Sex Education (aged 10). “SOOOOO” said teenage son, “WHAT exactly did you learn?”……

“Well”, said 10 y/o, “I learnt about erections”.
“What about them?”
“I learnt that a dick doesn’t have a bone in it”
“What else did you learn?
“That when you put a tampon into a glass of water it grows like 30 times bigger and that girls grow hairy legs”.
“Cool”.

Education. It’s a wonderful thing.

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3 Comments
  • kelloggsville
    June 24, 2011

    And they wonder why some parents just don’t bother trying to discuss difficult subjects with their kids *sigh* Enjoy your weekend x

  • Au Pair Germany
    June 28, 2011

    haha….now the children can learn many interesting things not only from school but also can from the internet…and i agree with ur mum”u can never get rid of ur children”:)