This whole gap year thing is going to be a nightmare. I wonder whether I’ll be able to put my firstborn off by saying he has to fund the whole thing himself and that it has to be educational in some way. Although, I will make a little exception if he would agree to learn Mandarin in China or Taipei or build a school in Zambia, then I would contribute something, but otherwise he’s on his own.
Last night I went to a lovely farewell dinner for my god-daughter who is just about to set off on her Gap Year….although in fact it’s only half a gap year of travelling with three other girlfriends because it’s taken her a while to save up the money. I did have a moment, towards the end of the evening where I went from being hugely impressed to feeling slightly sorry for everybody else around the table. Mostly me. Obviously. There she was having a gorgeous meal, looking young and beautiful and we were all offering support and good tidings for her to have an extended luxury holiday.
I slightly began to struggle when she talked about her plans. Starting in Australia, then off to the Far East bla bla until I wanted to cry with jealousy. OK, she has been juggling 3 jobs in order to pay for the whole thing, but still I couldn’t help wishing I could have a space like that again in my life to be so free – YES OK I can do it in a few years when the kids have left BUT IT’S NOT THE BLOODY SAME IS IT, when you have rubbish legs with veins on and a fat arse and wrinkles and a body that won’t stay where it’s meant to in a bikini (A bikini? Did I actually just say that. No chance).
I WANT A GAP YEAR. Even if I have to go to cold places so that I can sit on the beach in a kaftan. I gave her a card that said “What’s wrong with your mother coming on your gap year?”.
My poor son is going to be so disappointed when he find’s out that I’m not actually joking.