My daughter is on the brink of abusing my new found role as an Alpha mummy. This morning, before her English GCSE she actually demanded scrambled egg on toast in bed and because she has done such a good job of convincing me that my Princess of a daughter must have all that her heart desires if she is to do well in her exams – I actually did it. Still, I’m not the only one – I keep bumping into parents in the supermarkets – stocking up on all manner of junk food – “NOTHING HEALTHY” is the general request “I NEED chocolate, biscuits, snacks, stuff that is instantly recognisable as a meal when I open the fridge”. It is not good. I have become a slave to my child.
In my worryingly domesticated role I have also had to be paying close attention to my newly spayed cat. Ridiculous really – his very simple operation turned into something three times as expensive because one of his testicles hadn’t dropped. “Can’t you just wait for it to drop?” I queried…”well, no not really because we’ve scanned him (how much is a scan?) and his testicle is in his abdominal cavity and if you leave it there it may well turn into a tumour”…..really? So. I agreed to open heart surgery on a small ginger moggy to remove an ingrowing testicle. At vast expense. This cat has been the most expensive Christmas present ever.
Tonight my house looks again like a bomb site – all my daughter’s art is due in tomorrow and therefore it’s glue city here as she puts the finishing touches to her art books. I shall have a ceremonial burning of tubes of paint tomorrow and probably end up in hospital with noxious fume disease. It’s all quite peaceful here though. I’ve lost my home phone somehow in the house and even ringing it doesn’t work. Still, given that it’s only ever rung by my mother and strangers in India I don’t really mind. Funny how redundant landlines are becoming in life.
I’m not even going to get a break this weekend. The children are going to their fathers but I am teaching on Saturday and doing the Pink Power Walk on Sunday – my 16 mile breast cancer charity walk which I have done no training for. Which means my toenails will probably fall off and my hips will break. I haven’t even had time to put up my just giving page in case anyone would like to sponsor me. I’ve got to go tomorrow evening and help get all the goody bags put together. Some lovely girl guides have offered to do the job. So maybe I’ll wait till that’s underway and take photos and then put it all in one post. I am SO pleased with the goody bags – such a lot of brilliant loot – I’ll show you it all tomorrow. Trust me, it will make you want to walk next year, just to get one….
Just as an aside – this week so far I have been aware of five different mentions of the new “mummy porn” book “Shades of Grey”. One of my clients is reading it for their book group book, a girlfriend has just finished it and told me it was awful and I’ve read three articles about it…..tempting. Especially in an effort to throw off my new Alpha cloak (or perhaps I should keep it on and just read it underneath).