I went to see my doctor yesterday with a list of symptoms as long as my arm. I think, in my head I had decided that they would all go together to sum up one clear horrid disease. Instead, the doctor asked me if I had any reason to be a little more stressed than usual. “ANY REASON TO BE MORE STRESSED THAN USUAL???” I repeated….NO, WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?? HOW MANY REASON’S DO I NEED?
Because your symptoms could well be stress related. Your blood pressure is a little too high. What’s going on?
How long have you got? I asked him. I am a single parent trying to do the best I can under difficult circumstances. I feel as if I have to spend the whole time defending myself to certain people which is both exhausting and depressing.
He told me that even small changes can make a difference to stress levels – “for example” he said, “you could move to Wales and live in a tent and abandon your children in order to have a stress free life – instead you choose to stay and look after them…”
“Do you think you could write me out a prescription to go and live in a tent in Wales?” I asked him – I can say it’s under doctor’s orders….although in reality I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less.
Anyway, what else is causing me to stress at the moment? Um? Well:-
TEENAGE SON
He’s in Vietnam with his mates, travelling around mostly on motorbikes, no doubt without helmets or leather gear. He survived the treacherous tubing town in Laos and his last Facebook entry said “eight course meal of snake tonight – had to eat the heart and drink the blood” – do you think that’s some sort of initiation ceremony and he didn’t realise? Triads? I haven’t been able to speak to him for days and I gather that a boy in another group is in hospital after a car crash….it’s all too terrifying. HOWEVER, I did see some lovely photos of him tagged at the Songkran Festival in Chiang Mai:-
He is wearing a ring I’ve never seen before and looking like he needs to go to bed – I hope he isn’t planning to bring back a Thai Bride:-
How gorgeous is this little kid covered in foam:-
TEENAGE DAUGHTER
She had her first GCSE today. Art. All day. To be honest I will be very pleased when her art is over. Not only are all my glasses covered in acrylic paint smears but my house has turned into one big art studio – complete with slightly smeary walls here and there. Bits of paper, cuttings, glue, sparkly things, STUFF. Everywhere. Not to mention the cost of all the canvasses, paints, brushes, bla bla – like this:-
The rest of her exams start next week. She is understandably stressed and I”m doing what I can to keep her calm but it’s difficult to predict. An extra two minutes spent looking for my youngest son’s trainers this morning, prior to leaving for school resulted in her virtually spontaneously combusting in the street.
11 YEAR OLD SON
Taking longer than I’d hoped to adapt to secondary school life and all that it entails. Still its always good to hear about somebody in a worse position than you so I was relatively heartened by a friend telling me about a boy who seemed to be endlessly in trouble at school – she used to dread parent’s evening more than anything. Once she had a call from one of the teachers telling her that her son had “excelled” himself and she was delighted, until they continued to say “this week he managed to amass 27 detentions which is a school record”. “But mum, it doesn’t seem fair – one of my detentions was because I had my shirt hanging out at the back and another one was because I didn’t answer any questions in class, but when I do put my hand up my shirt pops out so what am I supposed to do??”.
OLD CAT
Fat and grumpy
KITTEN
A spectacular nightmare. SO NAUGHTY. Into everything. Breaks glasses, jumps on everything. Although, he follows us all around and the minute you sit down he jumps on your lap and purrs very loudly. So we all love him really. Sadly (for him) he’s off for a chip and a chop next week so that I can finally let him outside. The vet told me that I had to do the responsible thing and keep him in until he’d been castrated to avoid lots of little litters being created. But he is now so ready to go out.
Here he is watching me put my makeup on:-
Here he is having grown a little too big for his bed:-
WORK
I am slowly but surely developing a few new classes and I started teaching a new 6 week Pilates class today consisting mainly of friends. Always a danger because they don’t seem to be able to take me seriously. I am going to have to separate the three at the front because they kept giggling. I was actually very nervous about it but it went well. I hope. I’ll confirm that next week if anyone comes back.
BLOG
Love it. Hoping to win the award and thank you to all of you who voted. Won’t find out for ages. Regarding everything else that I write about I’m still feeling a little bit like I’m wearing a muzzle and I can’t write about what I want. Still trying to work out a way round that. Not sure endless photographs of sunsets is the long term answer but it will have to do for now – anyway I LOVE sunset photos.
PERSONAL LIFE
I have no time left to give at the moment it seems. Internet dating is not an option when you’ve got no time – unless of course you are married and conducting one of those revolting website affairs I read about in Style Magazine this weekend where people betray their partners for the good of the family. Ridiculous. Why we are all worried about protecting our children on the internet when an increasing number of adults are behaving appallingly in cyberspace I do not know – and what’s more those involved seem to spend a lot of time justifying their behaviour as if it’s completely normal. What has happened to change the way we view relationships? When did it become OK to cheat? Or perhaps it has always been OK to cheat and I’m just being naive.
Oh, but did I mention that Builder Bloke was on my friend’s birthday weekend party in Marbella?
Expat Mum
May 4, 2012The ring looks like it’s on son’s right hand, so he should be wife-free, unless of course, they wear them the other way round. In which case…..
Family Affairs
May 4, 2012I KNOW!! Could be the other way round there….Lx
Kelloggsville
May 5, 2012All these things will too pass 🙂
Family Affairs
May 5, 2012YES BUT THEN THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING ELSE. I’m shouting now. Must calm down. Did talk to my son yesterday so all good. I think Lx
LostAtSea
May 14, 2012Hello, FA! It’s been a while since I’ve dropped in, but thought I would say hello, and also let you know that, unbeknownst to you, you’ve had some effect on me…It wasn’t intentional on my part, yet now I find myself blogging, and can only think it began with reading yours.
Still working through all that divorce entails, especially with becoming a single mom, and tried, quite unsuccessfully, to find some way to cope, and “talk it out”. Lost a great deal of my social network in the split, and when Facebook failed to provide an adequate substitute for a social life (no real surprise there–that was grasping), and a week experimenting with online chat also proved to be a ‘fail’ (yes, absolute shocker–I still hate fragmented sentences, bad grammar, and emoticons–even in the ‘philosophy chat room’, which seemed to talk only of sex and drugs)….I turned, somewhat hesitantly, to blogging. And have found I love it! Finally an outlet for some of this stress and turmoil without feeling parasitic to those around me. Phew. And where I don’t have to hear people telling me–“Don’t worry! This too shall pass!” (I see you still get that….but it has been driving me crazy this year how people who have never been, and never will be, in my shoes, insist that I must not be ‘okay’ unless I am screaming “My glass is half full!” It amazes me how uncomfortable our society is with the expression of pain, grief, or stress….The best anyone seems able to do is gently suggest a counselor, as though it is wrong to feel any of these things, no matter what the circumstances. I wonder what the world would have lost in the way of art, if Van Gogh had just taken his angst and self-expression to a counselor instead?)
Anyhow, also thought I would let you know that I have mentioned your blog once or twice in my own–having enjoyed it so much. But now that I am here, I see that the computer has done that for me, with “Trackbacks/Pingbacks”. Yes, still very new at all this.
What the pingbacks won’t tell you, is that nomansland2012, is in fact, me–first known as “LostAtSea” in your comments section. I just want to thank you. There is much in this struggle that really isn’t funny at times, and sometimes has me wondering just what one feels like before a complete nervous breakdown–are there any signs I should be scoping for here? Maybe today is the day? And then, I laugh. Reading your blog, meeting kindred hearts….there is hope, laughter, and healing. Even when little has changed in the situation, it is enough to buoy me into another day, and each day is one day closer to whole, to closure, and to healing.
Thanks, FA. And as always, all the very, very best.
LostAtSea/aka nomansland2012
Family Affairs
May 15, 2012Thank you SO much for your wonderful note to me. Honestly, it makes up for all the non commenting that has been going on of late now Twitter et al has taken over. You have no idea how important it is to hear that other people like you, me…us are finding my blog of some use – even if just to have a laugh from time to time. I did get the ping backs – which I usually delete so I’m glad you told me it was you and I’ll pop over and have a read – keep reminding me where you are though – I’m rubbish at finding the time! Good luck in moving “forward” (not not necessarily “on” – possibly around, underneath, behind, before you make it forward… it’s a long old journey but I’ve realised that you’ve got to enjoy that bit as much as where you’re going to be at the end because “well, if you can’t answer “when is it going to end?” then it’s not the end…..”. Thanks x
Emmanuel Corkins
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