Gorgeous daughter has sent this rather scary picture of herself to my parents via email with a note saying “THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PAYING FOR MY BRACES. I AM SO HAPPY WITH MY TEETH I CAN’T STOP SMILING” :-
She is miserable though. The countdown to her friend leaving the country is almost over. She goes tomorrow. There have been tears and parties and yesterday she gave a surprise tea party for her and 8 of her primary school friends (I still have the squashed smarties and 100 and 1000’s sprinkled around the floor to show for it). Tonight they’re going out for dinner and she wanted to have a sleepover “because it’s really important that we spend as much time as we can together” and she and her other best friend have spent all the money they got for Christmas (plus some they’ve borrowed from me) on vastly over generous leaving presents AND they’ve made cards and books and written letters to be opened on the plane and they’ve printed off the lyrics of relevant songs like “You’ve Got A Friend In Me” (Toy Story) and “You’ve Got A Friend” (no idea) that if they had their way they’d probably be busking outside the aeroplane as she boards the plane.
Frankly it is quite astounding just how much effort girls put in to their friends at this stage of their lives. I remember it well. All those secret code letters and bubble writing books and just so much thought. As we get older and we move away from the bubble writing – the thoughtfulness and consideration and effort for our friends remain, it’s just a little more diluted.
My boys are looking on in amazement. Apart from teenage son telling his sister that he thought she looked better with her braces on, they simply don’t get the point of all that stuff. Why bother? Just say goodbye and get over it. Move on.
It makes me wonder if this is entirely stereotypical. It makes me wonder if this is why I was to become eternally disappointed by the lack of effort men put in compared to women. Of course they make the effort, but it’s all relative. I’m not sure though whether anything ever comes close to girls and their best friends on a scale of one to ten effort. Or perhaps that has just been my personal experience to date.
Expat Mum
January 27, 2010Gorgeous teeth. Doesn’t she now need a retainer to keep them that way? And boo-hoo about the friend moving. Thank god for t’Internet.
Family Affairs
January 27, 2010Yes, she will need a night retainer. but she’s fine with that x
Dulwich Divorcee
January 27, 2010I think you’ve really got a point with the effort discrepancy between boys and girls. Sigh! Doomed to a lifetime of disappointment ….oh dear, that’s a bit of a downer, I’m sure she’s more sensible than that and will find the exception to the rule who’ll write her poetry every day xx
Family Affairs
January 28, 2010Well yes, there’s always the poet/artistic guy – will start looking for one of those (for my daughter obviously) Lx
Chic Mama
January 27, 2010I’d never thought of it that way before, but you’re right. ‘Move on’….they can certainly do that easily enough. Must be in their genetic male makeup!
I haven’t even started down the braces road yet…number three definitely needs work….:0(
London Dad
January 27, 2010I failed to capitalise on many of the close friendships that I made whilst at boarding school. That is one of my greatest regrets and one that would not have been made by a girl. After eight years, I left with many great friends and a pretty empty address book.
Your daughter may or may not see her friend again, but whatever the outcome, she showed how much she cared. If she loses touch, there will be fond memories. If she stays in touch, they will be able to hit the ground running years from now. However, whatever happens, they will never be strangers.
Girls are so much more useful than boys in this regard. Teach us.
Family Affairs
January 28, 2010LD – are you for real???
London Dad
January 28, 2010No, I am an agent from the Chinese Government trying to infiltrate western blog culture…or perhaps I am a man-hating lesbian living in Austria…or I could be your ex. Who knows? That’s the fun of the internet.
Family Affairs
January 28, 2010Holy shit. Now you’ve got me worried Lx
Di Foden
January 28, 2010I suppose that’s why most women would find the thought of deserting their kids impossible, but many men seem to be able to do it without a backwards glance. My kid’s father never saw them from the day we split, and then my second husband did the same. I’d rather be a woman, though.