Yesterday when I was talking to the boy I hadn’t seen for 35 years, I asked him how his mother was and he told me that he barely saw her now. I think that is desperately sad. For both of them. He introduced me to his boyfriend. “We’ve been together for 18 years now which is longer than my parents were together” he pointed out. He seemed very settled and happy. We talked about his mother and one of the things he said rather wistfully, was “she never put chocolates on my pillow”.
“Shit!”, I was thinking to myself. “Is that the key to not fucking up your children? I must rush home and put chocolates on their pillow immediately because then they will love me forever”. Of course, in my household, things never go quite according to plan:-
7.30pm: Three chocolates found in the back of a cupboard carefully placed on each pillow.
7.35pm: “OMIGOD!!” shouts my 8 year old, “HOW COME MY SISTER HAS A CHOCOLATE ON HER PILLOW?? WHO PUT THAT THERE?? WHY HAS SHE GOT A CHOCOLATE ON HER PILLOW AND I HAVEN’T?”
7.40pm: “Go and check your pillow before you make assumptions, maybe there will be something there” I told him. He came back…”cool, look mum, T must have put chocolates on each of our pillows when she came today” (it was clearly so not a possibility that I could have put them there that he felt it was safe to show me his chocolate, which was in fact the one I had put on his sisters pillow).
7.45pm “Actually, it was me” I told him. “NO WAY IT WAS YOU” he said. “Well, how do I know that you swapped the chocolates then” I challenged him. “Oh”.
7.50pm: Teenage son then shouts “mum why is there a chocolate on my pillow – it’s going to melt and leave a horrible mess”.
GOD. I GIVE UP. I was just trying to be a really lovely lovely mummy….it’s a bit of a weird thing to do though. How many mothers actually would do that, I wonder….
ciara
November 4, 2008chocolates on your pillow here, means ants sleeping in your bed. lot of people have ant probs here.
well, teen is growing up..he’s trying to keep things ‘neat’. how often is it that a teen BOY keeps his room tidy? lol
Janelle
November 4, 2008pas moi….anyway – the ants would get it! but you know what, let me give it a twirl tonight and see what happens…? but suspect not a good habit to get them used to..IMAGINE?? xx j
Brother no. 1
November 5, 2008Strangely I don’t remember our mother ever doing that either. She would go to great lengths to hide any chocolate in the house from us as I recall……
Anonymous
November 5, 2008no wonder he and his mother don’t see each other anymore….she probably couldn’t keep up with the impossibly high expectations. Surely he wasn’t serious….
family affairs
November 5, 2008Ants not good.
No, our mother never ever would give us chocolate willingly – we had to find her hiding place. Lx
Anon. He was completely completely serious. Lx
A Mother's Place is in the Wrong
November 8, 2008Have to say that I never left chocolate on their pillows – I would have if I’d thought of it though.. But now I send chocolate in the envelope with their mail when I forward it – just to sweeten it if it’s a bill! M xx
PS That was so mean of your Mum – why would she do that?