I think my evening with ex-husband went quite well. We argued (obviously), but with the help of several bottles of wine we seemed to successfully manage to stumble around the edges of our key danger zones.
We discussed the children, the holidays, the orthodontic treatment, money…I think we came to a satisfactory agreement within each topic of conversation. OK, so at one point he told me that he thought I had about as much compassion as “a syphilitic camel” which (because I’m annoying like that) I felt the need to discuss. Do camels actually get syphilis? Do they understand compassion as a concept? Are dromedaries in general less compassionate than other forms of mammals? (god, I can be annoying).
Our major danger area, (obviously) is the hot topic of why our marriage broke down. It was and still is very clear to me what happened to cause a total and utter collapse. He doesn’t see it like that. He doesn’t think that it was his fault that he had an affair, he thinks it’s my fault. We trawled through the detritus of all the old arguments, but at least agreed not to go over it all again, because neither of us have come up with anything new to say – we haven’t really moved on….he did at least admit that a lot of his anger comes from frustration about the situation and that he thinks it is extremely unfair that I have the children.
GoneBackSouth
May 8, 2008Oh my goodness. Did he really say that? Is there any way you can both draw a line and forgive and forget? Or am I being hasty here. Anyway it sounds like you had a good conversation, so that’s good.
family affairs
May 8, 2008yes, he really said that…too much water under the bridge I feel. Unfortunately x
ExAfrica
May 8, 2008Is he still with the affair woman?
family affairs
May 9, 2008No, that relationship unsurprisingly didn’t work…he’s with another woman now.
Frankofile
May 9, 2008Putting the children first – a good cliche IMHO and it seems to me that’s where you are. Do you think he really sees it like this?
family affairs
May 9, 2008Yup, x
Dumdad
May 9, 2008Who paid for the wine?
Expatmum
May 9, 2008Well he said that because he realizes what a dick he was in deceiving you and now he’s lost you. (Pardon the French.) Not usually wise to drink and discuss but at least you know not to take his words too seriously.
the mother of this lot
May 10, 2008Aha! Finally, an area in which I have some expertise. Actually, a lot of expertise. In my vast experience of the drunken husband syndrome, what they say when they are drunk is usually the absolute, deep down in the soul as far as it gets, truth.
Are you sure there’s too much water under the bridge?
Pig in the Kitchen
May 12, 2008oh this is sad. especially TMOTL’s take on it, becoz she MUST be right. I don’t know how you get over infidelity…and i’ve no advice. so i’m a bit crap really. But good luck. (love the camel discussion!)
Pigx
Her on the Hill
May 12, 2008L, this made me sad. Remember your 40th? It doesn’t surprise me he said this, and I think he really means it. Truth does speak when drunk – certainly a nice truth rather than a nasty aggressive truth. And don’t forget I know all about Scorpio women – once scorned, never forgive. And don’t forget he’s a Gemini like me – so I know ALL about him!!! Maybe, maybe you could find it in your heart, one day….just a thought. xxx