FT WEEKEND

Who exactly reads the FT Weekend I wonder? Who is their target market? My friends who read it during the week for business news (OK, I know, I don’t have any friends who read it during the week, but if I did…) don’t tend to read it at the weekend as far as I know.

It is clearly not designed for people like me because mostly, I don’t understand it and I can only relate to about 3% of their subject matter owing to the fact that I am not a multi millionaire or an academic or even remotely intelligent. But for some very strange reason I persist in buying it because I am a secret admirer, but I am just not sure why. Often I buy it for different reasons. For example, today, as I stood in the newsagents I decided that I”d buy it to make a stand against all the other papers who may or may not be involved in Hackgate. The FT is clearly not involved. WAY too boring to have hacked into anyones phone. It was either that or The Guardian.

I don’t have my children this weekend, so not only did I buy the FT Weekend I got carried away with the thought that I had all day to reread the same sentence over and over again until it made a teeny bit of sense and bought The Economist as well. I think that might have been because I am looking forward to a little snooze this afternoon (just because I can) and my choice of reading matter will help me ensure that it works.

Having now read the FT Weekend from front to back it is not clear to me what I have learnt. I’m pleased that the “How To Spend It” Magazine (How To Spend What?) wasn’t included because I despise it’s opulence and genuinely don’t think it is appropriate to include in a weekly paper during our austerity times – it’s as bad as Rupert Murdoch smiling just after he shut down NOTW and saying that Rebekah Brooks was his number one priority. Most of this weekend’s paper hasn’t made much sense to be honest, but I thought I’d share with you what I now know just in case you want a brief summary and CBA to read it yourself.

If you are indeed a proper Weekend FT reader who has inadvertently stumbled upon my blog because you were googling the FT Weekend for proper, valid reasons then I apologise in advance, oh and also you won’t know that CBA means “Can’t Be Arsed”.

So here we go. An idiots guide to the FT Weekend:-

* The eurozone is f*cked.
* “How To Spend It” Magazine has gone online.
* Cool new art app out which will do extremely well
* We are not doing so much shopping – we can’t afford it
* That is because the economy is f*cked.
* Obama is f*cked.
* Cameron is f*cked.
* Murdoch is f*cked.
* Bernie Ecclestone is f*cked.
* Not enough condoms to go round due to an argument in India
* Apple and McDonalds are not f*cked.
* Gwyneth Paltrow is the new Martha Stewart carving out a long term lifestyle online plan
* Jay-Z is not the new Martha Stewart but also planning new lifestyle career online
* Charity T-shirts are it
* Glamping is the new look
* Joss Stone has lost her edge
* The new Harry Potter film is OK
* New Horrible Bosses film is not
* Student accommodation is the latest thing to invest in
* Sir David Tang talks absolute bollocks
* Money section – (couldn’t face it – sorry)
* Polo special report (ditto)
* Alistair Campbell is back in
* Ageing is a worry and we all need to sort it out and have a plan
* Ryan Kavanaugh is worth targeting as your NBF (new best friend)
* Fulfilling ones potential can be negative and/or a myth
* Newspapers are f*cked
* Mrs Moneypenny has lost touch with reality