My gorgeous daughter had the most lovely 15th birthday yesterday. I know that because this was the text she sent me late last night:-
“Thank you sooooooooo much for the most amazing day. I love you soooooo much xxx this has been incredible. You are the best mum in the world xxxxxxxxxx love you xxxxx”
Obviously I had to share that with you because it’s not going to last. So just for a minute I am going to allow myself to revel in maternal glory – it is an especially triumphant result given that she didn’t get her No.1 present of the belly button piercing.
This year was the first year my ex and I gave her separate presents. Up until now, to avoid way too many presents and to show a united front we have always shared our children’s main present. Now he’s married to somebody else I felt that they should do it together and I should give her something on my own. Obviously, therefore, she did very well. Got lots of lovely things.
In addition to a fantastic day, I somehow found myself agreeing to yet another party at my house. Just when I thought that I might get away with no others until the new year, I got a text from one of her friends saying:- “hi, we’d love to give her a really fun night – would you mind if we organised a surprise party for her at your house?”.
My initial reaction was to say a straight NO.
But then I had a hideous flashback to my 16th birthday. A friend organised a surprise party for me but about a week before it was due to happen she started telling me all about how rubbish my parents were being and that she wasn’t allowed to host it in our home and my mother wasn’t lending her any stuff or being remotely supportive. Not only was I mortified about that but it meant that I had to pretend I was surprised when I walked into the party hosted at another girlfriend’s house which was very difficult. That bit was bad enough but even WORSE than that was (because I was the first one to leave, owing to strict parents) my boyfriend ended up in bed with my friend. I found out about three months later. Honestly. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Shit behaviour all round.
So instead after my flashback, I said “yes, how lovely” to my daughter’s party and no doubt changed the course of her entire life as a result (or at least avoided a trauma like mine) because she had a happy, happy night. She was SO surprised when she walked into the kitchen and about double the amount of friends that I was expecting all sang and we left them for a few hours and went out for a curry and when we came back they were all dancing about – so as usual we all joined in. It will take her friends a few years to get used to that but nevermind. I think it’s a good thing. I didn’t provide any alcohol, they’re still too young but some of them brought it. I could tell by the way a few of them wobbled out. But no vomit. Thankfully.
Just look at the cake her friends made her:-
Aren’t girls just lovely? She got tons of handmade cards – they just make so much effort and go SO over the top. One of them in her card said:-
“I have so much fun whenever I’m with you…I’m never gonna be able to get your little face outa my head. I love you so much words can’t describe. Thank you for letting me share this day with you. I had the best time, I love you. You’re gorgeous. amazing – no kind of person is the same as you you’re completely unique and fabulous. I LOVE YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I will always be here for you! No one will change how much I admire you and respect you….
AND SO ON. Can you imagine boys ever writing anything like that? Is it any wonder that I have spent my entire life being disappointed by the male response to my birthday???
I just love having a girl. Here is what I wrote about her for her two years ago. Nothing has changed. Apart from her height and bra size (moi jealous?):-
“Thirteen years ago today I met my beautiful, tall, skinny, funny, confident daughter. She arrived two weeks early and emerged into the world calmly and relatively painlessly, compared to my two boys who fought for days to stay within my body (or perhaps it was my body that refused to let them go). When we met I was astounded. She was so perfect. My heart enlarged a little bit more and as with all my children my heart has subsequently felt as if it spends more time on the outside of my body than on the inside.
She is an almost daily reminder of my youth. She steals my mascara, my Ugg boots, my clothes. She infuriates me sometimes because we are so similar, but there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her (apart from pick her up from her disco on Saturday night) and I love her more than she will ever know.
Happy birthday my gorgeous pea in the pod girl. I wouldn’t change you for the world.
Vegemitevix
November 7, 2010So beautifully written. It amazes me how girls are so intense at this age. My eldest daughter is 14.5 and everything is sooooo OTT. As in ‘we have to go to town to hang out xx because her grand mother almost committed suicide and she NEEds us and…’ Dear oh dear. It’s like a soap opera every day. xx
Family Affairs
November 8, 2010Isn’t it just like that? They have to be there for each other ALL the time Lx
Expat Mum
November 7, 2010Awwww. I have to laugh though – if we left a party full of teenage girls unsupervised for a split second, there would be a week of phone calls from outraged and angry parents to follow. Sigh.
Family Affairs
November 8, 2010I know. I thought that as I wrote it that you and anybody else in America would be horrified that there was alcohol at a party – really not good though Lx
TheMadHouse
November 8, 2010Ah shucks, I am wiping a tear from my eye. I never wanted a girl, but this makes me wonder. I had a pants relationship with my mother growing up, she is a great gran, but was a poo mother. You are a fab mother
Family Affairs
November 8, 2010AAAH. Thanks Lxx
janelle
November 8, 2010happy b day to second born! very moving sweet and as always real post…you must be so proud…and yes. you are the best mama ever…congrats! xxx j
Family Affairs
November 8, 2010Thanks darling x
Anna
November 8, 2010You got me tear-eyed. What a wonderful ode to daughter. Mother-daughter relationships can be very special. I don’t have a girl, but just like your daughter, I am lucky enough to know what it feels like to have a brave, strong, beautiful person for a mother.
Family Affairs
November 9, 2010AAAH. Thanks Anna. Lx