I miss my father. We all do. It’s not been at all easy for my mother who feels the enormous space he’s left behind so hugely. She hasn’t been able to fill it with very much else and it hurts her. He’s not been around now for five years and sometimes that seems like an eternity and other times it feels like yesterday.
Friday would have been his birthday so we had a family get-together. This unexpectedly resulted in Saturday day being an almost total write-off (although I don’t know why I continue to be surprised). We had a BBQ and toasted him. He would have been 75 if he hadn’t died 5 years ago and we all still hugely miss him. So a night of fond memories and too much wine, culminating in a dance off with my two brothers and my mother of all his favourite songs meant that none of us got to bed until 4.30am. Not a good option when staying at my younger brother’s house because his two small children take no prisoners when they’re up bright and early at 6am.
We listened to lots of Elvis, Bruce Springsteen and Rod Stewart as well as playing our family anthem of “Pata Pata” several times over. Amazingly – and this happened a few years ago when my son was at a club in Berlin (also on his birthday) – all three of my children texted yesterday to say “OMG Pata Pata is playing in a bar in Corfu where we are watching the rugby….he’s here with us!!”. How strange. Why would that song come on in Corfu on his birthday? Nobody has heard of it hardly. It does give me a bit of comfort to feel that he is still around and chucking little messages out and about to let us know….
I keep watching the video of Elvis singing “Jailhouse Rock” I now realise is where my father got his dancing skills from. I always thought he looked a little strange doing his hip thing, but clearly this was his inspiration….it’s one of my favourite videos – was it the first music video even if technically it was part of film? If so, it’s still up there with the best of the best I think.
It’s been a funny old week for me in London. I haven’t been working and I’ve had no children at home. The kids are away with their father and his new family – which I have to say still hurts. Even after all these years. Not only the pain of not being with them on an amazing experience but also I am still hopeless being on my own in the house. It’s too quiet. So I make too many plans. I have been out and about seeing friends and family, but have also started sorting out a few rooms in the house. Consequently it looks like a bomb has gone off and now I don’t have enough time to clear it all up before they’re back tomorrow.
