My beautiful friend – the one who isn’t even forty yet, the one who hasn’t even had her children yet, the one who was teaching a workshop and attending the Maggie’s event with me just a few months ago, the one who loved and protected her husband with a passion I envied, the one who glowed with an inner light that everybody could see, the one who fought her battle with cancer with a grace and dignity and strength, the one who refused to be defined by her cancer, the one so lovely, so positive, so brave, that you felt privileged to have been part of her life;

My beautiful friend,

Has died.

One of her last texts to me just before I went to Australia was:-

“Safe travels. Have an amazing time. And make sure you just savour and enjoy every day you are there. Big love xx”

Well if that’s not a message we should remind ourselves of every day, I don’t know what is.

“We should all live as if we were never going to die, for it is the deaths of our friends that hurt us, not our own.” Gerald Brenan

Subscribe so you don’t miss a post
Sign up with your email address to receive news and updates!

What do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

37 Comments
  • Mad
    May 6, 2010

    I’m so sorry to read that – for your loss and for her family. Carry her memory and treasure the good times.
    Mad x

  • Hayley
    May 6, 2010

    *big hugs* Sending you prayers and strength to all affected by your loss. xxx

  • fd
    May 6, 2010

    I’m so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and all her friends and family.

  • Laura
    May 6, 2010

    Sorry Lulu xxx

    Thinking of you

  • Littlemummy
    May 6, 2010

    My thoughts are with you.

  • Miranda
    May 6, 2010

    Ah L, I’m so sorry.

  • Eclipse
    May 6, 2010

    I’m so sorry, that’s so terrible and at such a young age. Thinking of you x

  • Knackered Mother
    May 6, 2010

    Lordy, what a post. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. My brother died 8 years ago now at 26yo and although obviously a hideous experience it did teach me to live here and now. He did. And he had a blast. Glad you found me and gald to find you back x

  • aussie friend
    May 6, 2010

    So sorry to hear this. She looked so lovely that night you met Camilla. So happy and young and alive. I can’t believe she’s gone so soon. We are off to a funeral tomorrow too. Lovely man 52, father of 4, gone within a year of contracting leukemia. Life is just not fair. Lots of hugs xx

    • Family Affairs
      May 7, 2010

      Oh no that’s really sad AF – and yes, she did look all those things in the photos – she was Lx

  • Kelloggsville
    May 6, 2010

    I am very sorry, what lovely parting words. xxx

  • TheMadHouse
    May 6, 2010

    You and her family are in my thoughts, I feel terrible for you and that is your pain not mine, but I truly understand the pain of losing people to this dreadful thing. I love the last sentance for it is so true

  • Jon Storey
    May 6, 2010

    This post makes me eternally grateful to be alive and in a position to be able to moan about my little problems.

    My brief and distant acquaintance with your friend left me with the impression of a strong and dignified woman who had much to offer but was taken like so many, far to soon.

    Deepest sympathy to you and especially, your friend’s family.

    Jon

  • Priness_L_88
    May 6, 2010

    So sorry to hear that. Thoughts are with you. *big hugs*

  • janelle
    May 6, 2010

    ah so sorry lulu…man. so so SO terrifically sad. enormous hug. xxxxxx j

  • Mud
    May 6, 2010

    So sorry L. It isn’t fair. Sending hugs your way. But so good for expressing it. As someone said, the small griefs are loquacious, the great are dumb. We’re all here for you.
    xx

  • Expat Mum
    May 6, 2010

    I’ve lost four friends since Xmas and it’s devastating isn’t it? I’m so sorry for your loss.

    • Family Affairs
      May 7, 2010

      FOUR??? Since Christmas??? Holy shit. That’s really bad Lx

  • Dumdad
    May 6, 2010

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

    “We should all live as if we were never going to die, for it is the deaths of our friends that hurt us, not our own.”

    How true.

  • Vegemitevix
    May 6, 2010

    So very sorry to hear that. Awful news. Take time to grieve and allow yourself to heal. Sending you best wishes and lots of hugs xx

  • jo
    May 6, 2010

    Oh I am so sorry to hear your news.
    Carry and cherish your memories of her, for that is how we keep our loved ones with us.
    My thoughts are with you.
    xx jo

  • English Mum
    May 6, 2010

    Oh lovely girl. As you know, I lost a dear, dear friend to cancer in similar circumstances. I still miss her and remember her with a smile. I wish you the same wonderful memories. So sorry my darling. Hugs xx

  • I’m so, so sorry you’ve lost your friend. Sending you loving thoughts and hugs xxx

  • Nicola
    May 6, 2010

    Oh Lulu I am so, so sorry to hear that news. How incredibly sad and terribly unfair. She sounded like the most amazing person. My thoughts are with you and all her family and friends. xxxx

  • Chris
    May 6, 2010

    So sorry, after your blog about the Maggie Centre I went on her blog and read her past posts and kept up with the ones she was writing. Having had breast cancer I so understood her attitude to ‘the elephant’ she was a very brave woman and you have written so well your belief that knowing her brought you something special thats not a bad legacy to leave. XX

    • Family Affairs
      May 7, 2010

      Thanks Chris – yes, the “elephant” was always there Lx

  • LoopyLu
    May 7, 2010

    I’m sorry for your loss 🙁 x

  • Shiny
    May 7, 2010

    Sending love because, really, there’s nothing else to do. So very sad xx

  • Karin
    May 7, 2010

    I cried when I read your post yesterday – for a woman I learned about through you, and for you who I know only through your blog. I hesitated to post because, really, what is there for me to say at such a remove? But then I realized that there may be comfort to you in knowing that you extended your friend’s circle of influence around the globe, and that through you her life has touched me.

    I’m very sorry.

    • Family Affairs
      May 7, 2010

      Thanks Karin for your lovely message – it is reassuring to know that Lx

  • Linda
    May 7, 2010

    Thinking of you and your beautiful friend. Sending you so much love, the screen can’t hold it. xxxxx

  • Lucia
    May 7, 2010

    Oh god. I am so so sorry to read this. xxx

  • audreyhorne
    May 10, 2010

    Am so sorry to hear this news. You friend’s post on the Maggie Centre gave me the push I needed to make an appointment T the Breast Cancer Haven. I go tomorrow. Cancer is cruel and takes away so much, for those who suffer and those who love them. I am so sorry she’s gone. Much love, M x

    • Family Affairs
      May 10, 2010

      Thanks for the message but good for you and I”m glad she gave you the prompt you needed Lx

  • Chic Mama
    May 10, 2010

    I am so sorry for your loss of your dear friend and for her family. x