NOT THE BRIGHTEST…

I am feeling dim. Friend texts to say “Does Ladybird stay at home thing mean you can’t do drink tonight?” and I text back “sorry can’t come out am busy laying eggs – do they lay eggs?”

Then I have supper with my kids. We discuss stuff. “La Roux” comes up. A singer. Who I’ve vaguely heard of. “Imagine wanting to be called after a white sauce” I say. “Ridiculous”. I say. They are all looking at me with horror. “Mum. La Roux has flaming red hair. It is clearly a reference to her ginger hair colour and not a white sauce” says 13 year old daughter in disgust.

Then teenage son, reads me the essay he’s written for biology in answer to the following challenge. I don’t get most of it, but it’s quite an interesting approach to learning:-

“A sea anenome, a locust and a herring are sitting in a bar. They’re fed up with mammals, mostly because they’re forever getting passed over when trying to get served. The (slightly slurred) conversation turns to the superiority of their personal transport systems compared with a closed double circulation.”

“You are a fly on the wall. Write down the conversation that you overhear”.

SEA ANENOME: Why do those mammals think they’re better than us? They push to the front of the queue, just because they have higher blood pressure in the systematic system, meaning a greater rate of oxygen delivery to respiring tissues.

HERRING: The mammals have no right to push to the front, but there’s nothing wrong with having a closed circulatory system! I mean I have one…it’s a shame neither of you have.

LOCUST: Look, I like having my circulatory fluid bathe my extracellular spaces of all my tissues. Even if my blood is at low pressure.

SEA ANENOME: Good for you locust! Look lets not argue about this… we have lots in common. Our diffusion path to cells is less than 0.1mm! And our transport systems are used for the same reasons.

LOCUST: I’m just glad that I have a heart to pump my blood into a nomocell where the blood diffuses back into the circulatory system between cells. Even though this has low efficiency.

HERRING: But sometimes I do wish I had a double circulatory system..

SEA ANENOME: I don’t know why you two are so down…at least you have hearts to pump your blood.

LOCUST: That’s true, how do you transport your blood then?

SEA ANENOME: Well, I have a very simple structure. I only have an outer layer of cells surrounding my body, an inner layer which lines the gut cavity and then the main bulk of me consists of a jelly like material.

LOCUST: That must mean you don’t move around much as respiration is difficult.

SEA ANENOME: Yeah, well I’m lazy anyway.

LOCUST: Well technically we’re stronger than the mammals because if they had our single circulatory systems then they wouldn’t be able to survive as the transport of oxygen around the body would not be efficient enough.

HERRING: That’s so true and their double circulatory systems allow them to transport oxygenated blood around the body easily including all the other essential molecules. However if they had your open circulatory system they would transfer the blood too slowly and there would be no way they could survive.

FLY ON WALL: “That is the most boring pub conversation I have ever heard”.