“Peace.
It does not mean to be in a place
where there is no noise, trouble
or hard work. It means to be in
the midst of those things and still
be calm in your heart”
(Unknown)
This needs to become my new mantra. It’s not going to be easy for a minute I suspect. There is much turmoil. The X’s are now aware that BB is back and all is not at all calm. Yesterday you would not believe how much hysterical drama there was (not from me I hasten to add). Oh dear. Breathe. Breathe and repeat above poem regularly. Lets hope it all calms down soon.
Suddenly there are six kids to think about again. Lots and lots of stuff to deal with.
My X has stopped my maintenance. My lawyer says I will probably have to go to court. Bollocks.
My son is making big plans for his group holiday after his exams. I can’t bear the thought of it. All those boys on tour. Girls. Drink. Fights. His “tour” T-shirt arrived today. His mate has had personalised ones done for each of them. His one said “I Shagged My Aunt’s Sister” – nothing to frankly be proud of, but you remember the issue I mentioned at my brother’s wedding?? One of the others has “Do you want a Bukakke?” printed on the front – I had NO IDEA what that was. Google it. But be warned. You won’t want to know.
My 14 year old daughter is off to a party tonight. I had to drop her off at a station where she was meeting some friends. She has promised me that she will call when she gets there, she’d better. As she got out of the car I said, “please don’t drink, you might pass out or die”. She put her hand on my arm and reassuringly told me to “stop worrying mum, it will all be fine, I’ve had years of experience, I won’t die”.
Good grief.
Parenting.
Breathe. Breathe.
fab feisty and fifty
June 4, 2010breathe yes breathe…l cant stop bloody weeping, maybe l’m moving on through the stages? My hub wont reply to lawyers letter from march…and he wanted to split, he wanted things signed, now he is ill (see my rock blog)…l am fed up and on the wire financially…dread looking at the bank ac every day…am now off sick due to ‘stress, exhaustion and depression’ WTF…hate taking time off, but dont want to break in two…
what is the point of a financial agreement when every few months they can ask for it to be reviewed, always downwards, my lawman tells me no on ever spills on bonus’, commissions, legacy, pay RISE!!
l wonder how much l’m worth having stopped my career and worked part time in low paid jbs just to contribute, whilst bring up babies alone 4 days a weeek..
you do get me going lu…
saz x
Family Affairs
June 4, 2010Oh no. Poor u Saz. Such a stressful time. He will have to reply eventually. Sit tight. Have a large drink xx
Sis in law 1
June 4, 2010Bollocks! What a shock! I don’t know how he can get away with that. Thinking of you. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a film where a woman puts up posters all over NY saying “who’s ….. (HER NAME) and gets famous for it as everyone asks who she is. If you did that it would raise your profile and then you’d be rich and famous without any worries re maintenance etc ……. Lots of love xxx
Family Affairs
June 4, 2010Hmmm. Good idea bit in
my case think the discovery would lead to deep disappointment Lx
Sis in law 1
June 4, 2010No, no, no, no! Not true!
English Mum
June 4, 2010No way! How can he stop maintenance? Has BB moved in?
Family Affairs
June 4, 2010Not sure how. I have a financial document. He says his circumstances have changed! NO not planning on moving BB in Lx
English Mum
June 5, 2010Of course his circumstances of changed – he now has a fiancee and a swimming pool. Grrr.
English Mum
June 5, 2010Have changed, I mean.
Family Affairs
June 5, 2010I know. Both are very expensive to maintain. Lx
Nicola
June 5, 2010Great news about BB – but really crap news about your ex. Hope he comes to his senses and you don’t have to go to court. Surely he can’t get away with that…with a house with a pool?
Honestly. I am disgusted by men’s actions sometimes. And how those actions are aided and abetted and encouraged by the new women in their lives. Fucking outrageous.
Family Affairs
June 5, 2010Well that is entirely the point Nicola – that he has been drawn into this postition only since meeting his new wife to be. Unsurprising but so the opposite of the sisterhood it’s really quite shocking. Lx
auntiegwen
June 5, 2010God, it sounds just like a parent witholding pocket money from a naughty child. How can he not see that if he stops giving you money the only people it impacts on are his children? It’s not like you spend all the money on yourself.
Keep breathing, and there’s always gin at mine xxx
Family Affairs
June 5, 2010Will be over for (double) gin very soon – I know but given the amount of money it is he doesn’t see it as pocket money Lx
Nx !
June 5, 2010Surely maintenance has everything to do with supporting HIS children? Also financial support for you as their mother, having given up a good career to be a full-time mum. That hasn’t changed. In fact nothing about YOUR situation has changed since the financial settlement, unlike his! Bigger house, pool… not much evidence of a pay-cut there! Hang in there!
Family Affairs
June 5, 2010He is still paying for the children – but doesn’t think I deserve to be able to pay my mortgage and have a part time job whilst looking after the kids…..lots of people I suppose have that view Lx
'm'
June 6, 2010I didn’t have to look up bukakke….says it all really x
Oh, and B is a ****!
Family Affairs
June 6, 2010Thought you might know that! Lx
Chic Mama
June 21, 2010Bit late to this…..I hope by now maintenance is being paid! I just don’t know how they (men) can do this to their children…what is wrong with them? X
Arnoldo Kurtzeborn
July 11, 2010I hope you will keep updating your content constantly as you have one dedicated reader here.
Wendolyn Duchene
October 5, 2010I very much liked reading your blog. Great posts! Please continue posting such great cotent.