(QUITE) GOOD FRIDAY

SEVEN YEARS AGO, I wrote this post on Good Friday and called it Bad Friday. I was in a mess, in a dark place with not as many anchors as I needed to stop myself from falling off the edge of my life path. It was a defining moment, because I realised that I had to get a grip. Things were falling apart. Bits of me were falling apart. This is what happened:-

“This is SO not Good Friday. This is Bad Friday. I am so ill. I have the worst hangover in the history of hangovers and I have been sick twice. In addition my lovely ex-sister-in-law is coming over to take me to casualty because I think I may have broken my ankle. This, for any of you who have been following my blog, is not my fault. It is a genetic problem that I can do nothing about, that involves drinking pints of disgusting pub white wine, falling over at some point on my way home and waking up wondering what on earth happened. My father did just the same thing only months ago and my two brothers do it frequently.

I am never drinking again.

I think I must have been Rohipnolled (is that a word yet?) because I have a very big blank in my memory. Which is a very dangerous place to be. Texted friend who was with me: “u hav 2 call me I’m dying” and told her that if I had actually died nobody would know for four days because my children are away. “Lucky you” she said – “at least you can luxuriate in your misery – I have to go and get a dead hamster out of it’s cage that has been eaten down to the bone by the other one and then console my inconsolable daughter”.

I am off to hospital now. Back later for on-going saga of drunken night out”.

So you see? Really not a good place to be.

Today, seven years down the line it really is nearly a Good Friday. I am here with my daughter who is revising for exams. My older son is with his girlfriend, younger son is out and about. The weather is gorgeous. I have a job. I have a calm household. My brother is coming tomorrow and we are all having a lovely family Easter with lots of chocolate like we did a few years ago. I have stopped worrying about meeting a new man – mainly because I am loving my new job, loving spending time with friends, really enjoying the travelling I am getting to do these days, happy in my house, happier in myself, LOVING my children and so for now, that’s enough…
That’s what I think today.

Tomorrow will probably be different.

We’ll see.

HAPPY HAPPY CHOCLATEY EASTER TO YOU ALL