My nine year old has just finished several days of sex education at his school. In my day we weren’t taught about condoms and having babies until we were 14, when the teacher stood in front of us with a shoe box full of birth control paraphernalia and with a bright red face lifted each item out one at a time with a pair of tongs.
Nine years of age seems very young to be taught the “facts of life” – although given the case at the Old Bailey yesterday that found two boys guilty of attempting to rape a girl of 8, aged 10 and 11, perhaps I am being unrealistic.
He talked me through the whole thing. “Mum, it was completely disgusting – we saw a baby coming out” and then he gave me a little personal sex show – I got a whole display of different ways to have sex – missionary position, woman on top, complete with body movements…..he was actually doing these on the pavement on the way home from school and I was thinking “what if somebody I know comes along? What am I going to say he’s doing??”.
He very proudly announced that as they were allowed to mention all the words they knew for “penis” and “vagina” he knew more words that any of the others – putting his hand up regularly to say “dick”, “cock” and “testicles”. Good grief.
“Can you believe that one boy asked what happened when your willy was too big to fit into a vagina” he told me and I had this vision of the poor teacher trying very hard to keep a straight face whilst having to explain how it all worked.
“AND mum, you never told me that I won the race!”
“What race?”
“YOU KNOW – the sperm race – most important race of my life – I got there before all the others – amazing don’t you think?”.
Well. Yes. I do actually think that was an amazing race to win.
Completely amazing.
Eclipse
May 26, 2010That’s priceless! -nearly sprayed ham sandwich all over my laptop. I had considered being a biology/chemistry teacher, but I’m not sure I could, there is no way I’d be able to keep a straight face while teaching sex ed!
fd
May 26, 2010hilarious! and it IS amazing, i never thought of it myself! and brilliant that they learn it at school, although am sure I remember learning the basics at home from a book a bit younger than that. Not sure I can see the value in teaching them all about the different positions though. seems like tmi.
Family Affairs
May 26, 2010TOTALLY TMI IMHO….although it was cartoon format – he just adapted it! Lx
TheMadHouse
May 26, 2010I think that is it is done without embaresment and with good grace then 9 is OK, but then mine are younger, ask me again in 4 years time!
Jon Storey
May 26, 2010We didn’t have any sex education at all! No wonder I have no children…..
The Children’s Mother tells me that the youngest girl at a similar age to your youngest, had a ‘lesson’ few years ago and was presented with a condom to keep. I am told she was mortified!
Dumdad
May 26, 2010Crikey. I don’t think they teach that stuff over here in France. Or maybe they do and I haven’t been paying attention.
Nice to know I also won the sperm race but I’ve been knackered ever since.
Lucia
May 28, 2010Love the idea of winning the race.
I had to teach all about puberty to Year 7 some years ago. Luckily I had a nice-ish class group, and also had received some very good advice: get the boys to say what changes happen for girls, and get the girls to say what changes happen for boys. It totally saved my bacon – they were so embarrassed in front of each other that they didn’t bother to look at me squirming. After the first few weeks we had a visit from a school nurse to make sure I hadn’t left anything important out. She told me they were the most confident students she’d ever met at the bit where they were allowed to shout out all the words they knew for various parts of their anatomy. I felt proud. 😉
stef
May 29, 2010This was hilarious! I hate how so many people consider words like “penis” and ” vagina” taboo, so I am happy to read that your son’s class was open about those words, and even “worse” ones.