I am seriously exhausted. There are some obvious reasons for that. Namely being a single parent of three children with work and busy stuff to fit in as well as serious dramas to have to deal with and sort (hopefully sorted) over the past few weeks.
However, in addition to much that can’t yet be written about I have other reasons to feel tired. I had no idea how exhausting it was going to be to have teenagers on holiday living in my house. My daughter post her GCSE’s has caused me sleepless nights for a month now. She is out and about. Partying with her friends. Not every night of course but there is much to celebrate – birthdays, leaving parties as some friends move to other sixth forms, “WOOHOO exams are over” parties, “WOOHOO fuck it lets have a party” parties – all excuses under the sun. Having found an excuse to have a party the only other excuse required of a night is why she isn’t at home when she said she would be home.
So literally every time she is out I have the same old drama. I go to bed, wake up at hour she is meant to back and generally she isn’t back. “Where r u” I text – although the other day I texted “where r poo” because I can’t generally see the letters in bright sunshine, let alone in the dark. Normally I get something along the lines of:
“DW mamachica I’m with all the boys just on the bus now, I’ll be 2 mins and I’ll come and c u when I’m home” or
“DW chicken, I’m just walking up the road now with two friends”
Last night I got “OMG mum, we’re just waiting for an ambulance for my friend who is unconscious – I thought he was dead! He fell backwards on his head from the top of the bus stop”.
Friend is now in hospital and we are waiting to hear how he is. I am now beside myself with tiredness AND worry.
That is not to mention my 19 year old son who now used to doing exactly what he wants when he wants and is out most nights (although sometimes working at the pub) and generally texts around midnight saying something along the lines of:-
“OK to bring like a few friends back? Club was too hot?”
“NO” I say – “it’s too late and school for your brother tomorrow”
“But we’ll be reeeeellleeeee quiet, pleeeeese mum”
and so on it goes until one of us gets bored.
THEN in addition my youngest son keeps getting the time wrong – rushed in at 6.30am this morning – “OMG it’s 7.30am and I’m going to be late for school”…..
Seriously, it is actually FAR worse than having a small child that I’m breast feeding waking me up.
When will it end?
In answer to that final question, it will end when they’ve all left home and then not only will I still worry about them I will miss them desperately too.