“Sleep is still most perfect…when it is shared with a beloved.”
D. H. Lawrence
Well, that is a lovely sentiment, but D. H. Lawrence obviously never had to sleep with anyone who snored profusely. Because sleep is BY NO MEANS perfect when you have to do that.
I have always been an unbelievably light sleeper, particularly post children but I had learnt, having been married for a long time to “tune out” to a degree and adapt to life in a shared bed. Strange noises or sudden movements didn’t used to wake me up (except the time he bit me hard in his sleep thinking I was a burglar). It was all totally familiar territory. So although we all tend to make increasingly louder noises as we get older and fatter and more inebriated, I think it can be relatively manageable when you are totally used to it. As I am no longer with the husband that I slept with every night of the week for 15 years I have subsequently got very used to being on my own in my bed and thus not at all used to other people’s grunts. Separate bedrooms is one solution – in our case we have taken it one stage further with separate houses….
Builder Bloke stays of course, but not all the time. Consequently I am not immune to the noises he makes in his sleep and find it difficult to switch off. Anyway, its a little bit hard to switch off when the sound is something akin to a bloody freight train running through your room. According to him, I snore too (although I don’t believe him – I think he’s just being defensive) which means that it’s always one of us who sleeps very badly – it seems to be a case of “he who sleepeth first sleepeth the best” – and so we have found ourselves in a race to go to sleep first, which somehow doesn’t seem right.
So what to do? Refuse to let him stay? Insist he has his tonsils removed? Sleep in another room? Ear plugs? Nose strips? Counselling? Acupuncture? Strangulation? Have him put down? I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT’S BEST. Does anybody have any cures?
Lucia
January 31, 2011Oh god. I feel your pain. The thing that has helped the most for us (me) is my husband getting a mouthguard which holds his mouth in a certain position all night. Sadly he hates it, feels very unsexy (which would be correct) but IT WORKS.
He got it after a visit to the sleep clinic – on the NHS – after I was really suffering from lack of sleep when we had our first child. The night feedings plus his snoring plus my new ‘light sleeper’ status since becoming pregnant were leaving me with pretty much no sleep at all. Even he noticed the dark circles under my eyes were getting worse…
Finally he is a lot quieter due to the mouthguard, my daughter is sleeping through most nights 11 hours (yeehah, she’s two next month) but OOPS I’m pregnant again so here we go again.
Good luck. Ear plugs I found weren’t enough but were better than nothing.
Family Affairs
January 31, 2011I’d never get him to wear a mouthguard. You’re right. Enjoy the extra sleep now because its all going to become an immensely rare product for a minute again soon Lx
Crystal Jigsaw
January 31, 2011I have the perfect cure. Separate bedrooms. It works for us!
CJ xx
Family Affairs
January 31, 2011ALREADY??? Aren’t you too young for separate bedrooms?? Very tempting though – although I have a better solution – separate houses. Lx
Dumdad
January 31, 2011The late, great Anthony Burgess wrote: “Laugh and the world laughs with you; snore and you sleep alone.”
Family Affairs
January 31, 2011I am shortly to change the wording to “snore and you die”. Or is that a bit harsh? Lx
Sharon
January 31, 2011My solution, which I’ve successfully adopted for several years now, is to plug in my i-pod and listen to a variety of things to go to sleep. It started with relaxation music pod-casts when I was seriously stressed about the lack of sleep due to his nightly snoring. I never did get to the end of any one of those podcasts! Now, as I plug in every single night, I listen to radio show podcasts (current favourite Frank Skinner but have whole set of Russell Brand ones too), and its taking me for-absolute-ever to get to the end of the shows. Problem is, if I plug in in the daytime, I now fall asleep!!!!! Best thing is, all these podcasts are completely free 🙂
I received a complaint the other night that I woke HIM up laughing loudly. Goodness knows what about as I believe I was fast asleep but at least I go to sleep smiling and start the next day happy as a result.
PS: not strangled myself yet either!
Family Affairs
February 1, 2011That is a VERY good idea – perhaps I can learn Mandarin in my sleep? I hadn’t realised they were all free – do you just down load them from the apple store? Lx
Sharon
February 1, 2011Yes indeedy. If you want to learn Mandarin, give me a shout. Son speaks it after gap year in China 🙂 You need to learn to shout though (so it seems).
Family Affairs
February 1, 2011That is very cool – I’d love to speak it – did it really only take him a year? Lx
rob
June 21, 2011I found exercise about 1 hour before sleep to help me
I sleep better and the weight lose helps as well.