I have made a mistake. Born out of the desire for a little box of sunshine from Africa to lighten up these cold dark days I found myself magnetically drawn to the tanning shop in our local high street yesterday.
I couldn’t help it, I know it’s bad for you, but my friend had just texted from the Seychelles and I thought that maybe if I shut my eyes tightly I could ignore the plastic bed and hideous light and noisy cold fan of blasty air and pretend for a minute that I was lying on a sunbed next to her in proper sunshine.
I haven’t had a blast of UV rays from a shop for years. The assistant asked me how many minutes I wanted. I had no idea. “Well it’s a 500” she said. “I don’t know what you mean – how many minutes to you recommend?”.
So I had seven minutes of hell. Wearing a thong and my bra because I decided not to take my bra off in case my boobs burnt, but cleverly removing the straps – tucking them under my arms.
Job done.
I thought I’d get away with a sneaky sun bed. Builder Bloke commented last night that I looked “radiant”. Tee hee I thought to myself, “I’ve got away with it”.
However. It was blatantly obvious this morning that I haven’t got away with it. I look absolutely ridiculous. I have burnt my arse. I look like a baboon. My bottom is BRIGHT RED and I can barely sit down. Builder Bloke has not stopped laughing all morning.
In addition the bra straps have made windy strange lines along the backs of my arms so now I can’t wear the dress I had planned this evening.
Why can’t I do things like that properly.
Gone Back South
December 31, 2010Yeuch, I used to frequent sunbed places but I don’t anymore, there are just too many pitfalls! And I could never relax enough to stop thinking the lid was going to fall on me and crush me, fry me and keep me prisoner in there until closing time. Oh well, I expect the skin damage will fade soon!
Hope you have a good 2011,
GBS x
Shiny
December 31, 2010Oh dear! You should’ve just said… I’d have sent you a box of sunshine. Here’s wishing you a wonderful 2011 filled with sunshine and happiness, from a hot and blustery Cape town.
Shiny xxx
Family Affairs
December 31, 2010I know you would. I wish I’d asked. Lx
Expat Mum
December 31, 2010I think it was a message that THEY’RE NOT GOOD FOR YOU!!!
SusannahS
December 31, 2010I have to admit…I’m addicted to tanning. Not in a gross orangey-skinned way, but I swear that it’s like having a light therapy box in the winter for Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Hint…always ask if the bulbs were recently replaced. New bulbs are stronger.
When starting out, ask what they advise time-wise and then subtract two whole minutes.
Moisturize afterwards.
And if you have a fancy phone with apps, find out if you can download audiobooks…my tanning time is my 15 minutes of “Me Time” and I make the most of it.
Family Affairs
January 1, 201115 minutes??? I have a long way to go….Lx