If you have popped over for some advice on how to teach your children to drive, you have come to the wrong place. I can’t help I am afraid. I am a nervous wreck – instead I am going to advise you to do anything you can to avoid ever having to get into a car with one of your unqualified children. I managed to avoid it with my son, but unfortunately he now has a car and therefore my daughter is borrowing to learn in. Which means, because I appear to be the only fully grown adult living in the house with her that daily “put your life on the line” outings are down to me. THAT’S NOT VERY FAIR.
I can’t actually think of anything more terrifying than having to attempt to teach one of your own children to drive. That is, I would just like to point out, not because they are bad drivers or anything, it’s just that it goes completely against the grain of everything your maternal instincts are shouting at you. This is one of your own children who came out of your own womb who you love and cherish and want to protect from everything bad in the world, so WHY ON EARTH DO I HAVE TO GET IN A CAR WITH HER AND ALLOW US TO BOTH NEARLY DIE???
Seriously, it is almost more frightening than the Devil’s Pool at the Victoria Falls – especially when she stalls at a crossroads or drives way too close to the oncoming traffic. I am trying so hard not to have my foot constantly on the invisible break, so instead I have tiny little pinch mark bruises on the inside of my thighs where I have tucked my hands in tightly and sat on them very very hard.
To be honest, she’s pretty good, my gorgeous 17 year old speed freak. She’s sticking to the speed limits and ticking all the boxes. But she doesn’t like it when I shout “OMG LOOK OUT – BLOODY GREAT LORRY AHEAD” or RED LIGHT!!! STOP!!!!! She gets all cross and shouts back saying ‘STOP FREAKING ME OUT!! OF COURSE I’VE SEEN THE LORRY” and I have this vision of having to be strapped to the seat, with duck tape over my mouth, eyes wide and terrified looking – trying not to FREAK HER OUT. FREAK HER OUT???? WHAT A JOKE!
Although to be fair to her, shouting “HELP ME” to a passing police car this morning wasn’t funny or clever and she quite rightly got a little bit cross.
Her test is next week. Please please let her pass….I can’t take much more of this.
Anna
April 16, 2013Shouting “HELP ME!” to a police car? Hilarious. Not for the driver, I understand.
Family Affairs
April 16, 2013Yes, well not really for her….ha ha x
Waitrose Water Friend
April 16, 2013I’ve got to comment to this one ….. can not laugh any harder than we are now ! Please post when gorgeous gal is on the roads – good time to walk !
Family Affairs
April 17, 2013Ha ha – Waitrose Water Friend – you’re never going to let me live that down are you……thanks for comment!! Lx