Now it seems that the 7 people my 15 year old son wants to bring back to stay after a party are not all boys. I had to ring my friend with older teenagers to get advice. “OMG he wants to bring girls back to stay the night and he’s arguing that I keep on telling him to bring his friends over, so what a great opportunity”. Of course he wants them all to sleep downstairs in a pile somewhere. I have told him that the girls will have to sleep in another room (my friend says she has been known to go round with a clipboard ticking off names!) as I will have a responsibility to them and to the girls parents. She told me that the girls actually like those boundaries as they can feel quite vulnerable otherwise. I hope she’s right. I haven’t met any of the girls he hangs out with and he of course assures me that their parents let them sleep in the same room with boys all the time.
His argument hasn’t been helped by my finding a pile of condoms stuck inside a sock in a drawer yesterday. The ridiculous thing was that I was sorting out some of our storage boxes and organising his clothes whilst he was sitting up in his room with me. It was not like I was rifling around. “Oh” I said. “look what I’ve found”. His face was a picture. “They’re not mine” he said. “Original answer” I mumbled. He turned away to look again at his computer and I could see his shoulders shaking as he tried to contain his laughter. With a bright red face, he named a mate as the chief offender. I don’t suppose it’s unusual for 15 year old boys to be carrying condoms around, even if they’re not using them and quite frankly, after my last post about STD’s it’s perhaps better to find condoms hidden here and there than to not find them anywhere at all.
Fat, frumpy and fifty...
September 5, 2008l think your son shows sense..and you should be proud he has them, rather than not…it may be curiosity it may be hope, it may be nothing.
I often when l go shopping or nip into the chemist ask if there is anything the kids want?? ‘…tunes, toothpaste, condoms, lipstick..’ kind of a throw away remark…not to lessen their importance but to show l’m approachable and l will supply if needed..
my daughter is 16 and the last 8 months in new home, she has twin beds in her room, her boy pal, nothing romantic, (i suspect he doesn’t fancy girls) has slept over…several times with her…when she’s 18 I will allow her boyfriend to sleep over, but I suspect she would be mortified at that, so l doubt it will happen…
btw if that is is all you found you are lucky… nuff said..
Casdok
September 5, 2008Good luck with the sleepover!!! And everything else!! 🙂
'M'
September 6, 2008I agree with f,f &f….and I think you should be pleased that the boy has thought about this and 'planned ahead'…he is 15, if it hasn't happened yet – it most certainly will within the next year or so – I recall your 'Rainbow Game' post from the spring – Better he be prepared than 'risk it'…as I seem to recall was the norm when I was that age (all those years ago) – and of course, this is a subject you should ask his Father to discuss with him…
family affairs
September 6, 2008Do you definately think I should tell his father that I found condoms M???
Fat, frumpy and fifty...
September 6, 2008no.. l don’t think so… there is a point where your sons judgement should earn him the benefit of the doubt…
after all l bought my son his first shaving gear yesterday and then had to tell him what to do…l dont shave my face (yet) or wear condoms…you would have though my husband would have had that talk by now, but not…
my son hugged me and said thanks a lot..
perhaps you can throw it into the conversation?
'M'
September 7, 2008I wasn’t suggesting that you tell the ex about the sock drawer find, no, I don’t think there is a need – I was more saying that the whole sex/contraception/responsibility thing should be something that a Father passes to his son – surely that is what parenting is all about – rather than just his [financial] ability to take the children on swanky US holidays and about when he is having them, or not – it is as much about passing down the wisdom – and the general day-to-day stuff that is life….and I just think that this area is one that a Father and son should deal with – in the same way that you will be explainig it all to your daughter, in time…